#i can't tell whether she just needed to try get more work and was updating stuff or she thought this would be fun or wanted to piss off ex

[la-cocotte-de-paris]

Et voilà. The look was legit called 'MONOCLE', which was a reference to how some French sapphics dressed in the first few decades of the 20th century. There was also a famous lesbian nightclub in Paris called 'Le Monocle' at the time. This look was designed by Jacques Heim.

i think one of the funniest and most iconic things Edwige Feuillère ever did (other than her saying in an interview she preferred theatre when she was attending the Cannes Film Festival) was dress in very loud sapphic-coded style for a photoshoot after her divorce from her ex-husband

[rispwr]

can we have a drabble or oneshot where the oc says 'i can't pay for anything* this time' or offers to split the budget 50/50 and jungkook literally���😤😡🤬 gets mad like I'm your man I'm responsible for you etc🤭hehehhe make me a delululu, I don't have work tomorrow♥️😂

number one girl - drabble - read here for full fic

complete fluff, not proofread

sypnosis : you prank your bf telling him to split the bill

wc : 1,5k

note : so kinda missed this couple so wanted to write a drabble. thank you for the requests!! will be taking more requests from now onn!!

if you've been tagged in this fic im sorry omg. idk how to put the character's socmed without it taggig sum1 else.

3 years later -

It's been 3 years and college life is exhausting. Between classes, endless assignments, and my political science presentation looming over my head, I barely had time to breathe. Today was no different. I was in class, scribbling notes while trying to keep up with the lecture, when my phone began vibrating incessantly in my bag.

I ignored it at first, assuming it was just another group chat blowing up, but the vibrations didn’t stop. They kept coming, one after another, until I was sure the entire class could hear the faint buzz.

At this point, my phone might as well have been a vibrator.

Finally, I gave in, pulling my phone out discreetly under the desk. The notifications flooding my screen were all from one person.

From Messages:

loml 💕: babyy loml 💕: babyyyy loml 💕: boyfriend being ignored.

To Email: From: To: y/n@gmail.com Subject: boyfriend being ignored

To Instagram: @jakayyy tagged you in a story: "boyfriend being ignored 😔💔"

To Twitter: @j.k tweeted: boyfriend being ignored....

And then LinkedIn: @jeonjungkook updated his status: boyfriend being ignored... i miss you.

I stifled a laugh, covering my mouth with my hand as I scrolled through the barrage of notifications. Jungkook was relentless, and honestly, it was impressive how far he’d go to get my attention.

I quickly opened my messages to reply.

Me: omygod kook, I was in class 😭 loml 💕: idc I miss youuuu Me: me or Sam and Rachael? loml 💕: both...? Me: I’m in class rn. Don’t you have class too?? loml 💕: I don’t... Me: did you skip??? loml 💕: gee no loml 💕: my classes aren’t until later loml 💕: wanna have dinner with me later? Me: I have a presentation to make.... loml 💕: baby... loml 💕: as much as I love you as my nerd, you NEED a break loml 💕: pleaseee pleaseee Me: fine. Me: I’ll make time. loml 💕: see you later pretty 😉

I sighed, slipping my phone back into my bag. It was impossible to stay annoyed at him for long. Jungkook had a way of breaking through the stress and pulling me back to reality—whether it was through relentless notifications or his absurd LinkedIn updates.

As I tried to refocus on class, my seatmate, Anna, leaned over with her phone.

"Girl, have you seen this?" she whispered, showing me a TikTok video of a girl pranking her boyfriend by telling him they’d split the bill 50/50 at dinner.

I smirked, glancing at the screen. "Yeah, I’ve seen it. What’d your boyfriend say?"

Anna sighed dramatically, shaking her head. "I tried it yesterday. This man pushed the bill to me and didn’t even reach for his wallet. I ended up paying for the whole meal."

"Damn," I chuckled, shaking my head. "You should find a new one."

She groaned, slumping in her seat. "Tell me about it."

As the lecture continued, the thought lingered in my mind. I didn’t like asking people for things, especially money, but the idea of pulling the prank on Jungkook intrigued me.

What would he do?

Jungkook wasn’t like Anna’s boyfriend. For the past two years, he’d gone above and beyond to prove himself to me whether it was getting straight A’s, joining every project he could find, or taking me on dates he planned down to the smallest detail. 

-----

I was finishing the last touches of my makeup when I heard a knock at the door.

"Babyyyy!! Boyfriend at your service!" Jungkook’s voice rang out through my ring doorbell, his playful tone making me chuckle.

I opened the door, only to be met with his signature wide grin and a tight hug that nearly lifted me off my feet. His arms wrapped securely around me as he buried his face into my neck.

"Hmmm, I missed you so much," he murmured against my skin, his words accompanied by soft, feather-light kisses trailing from my neck to my lips.

I couldn’t help but melt into him, returning his embrace before he pulled back slightly to look at me. His eyes scanned me slowly from head to toe, and I felt a blush creep up my neck.

"Why are you staring?" I asked shyly, trying to hide my flustered expression.

"Why?" he repeated, a teasing smirk forming on his lips. "Can’t a man look at the most gorgeous woman in his life?"

I rolled my eyes, lightly hitting his arm as he laughed.

"Gosh, let me just wear my heels, and we’ll be good to go,"

We arrived at the diner a little while later, and I was immediately taken aback. The place was fancy too fancy. The kind of fancy that makes you wonder why you didn’t eat at home before coming.

As we walked in, Jungkook kept his hand lightly on the small of my back, guiding me to our table like a gentleman. The menu was placed in front of us, and when I opened it, my eyes nearly popped out of my head.

"Goddamn," I whispered under my breath, scanning the exorbitant prices.

Jungkook, however, seemed completely unfazed. He looked at me with that easy, confident smile. "Go ahead, baby. Order whatever you want."

His words were casual, but the sincerity in his tone made my heart flutter.

Once we finished ordering, the dinner passed like it always did with Jungkook filled with laughter, shared stories, and moments where he’d reach across the table to hold my hand like it was the most natural thing in the world.

"So," he started, resting his chin on his hand as he looked at me. "What’s my nerd been up to today?"

"Same as always," I said, shrugging. "Class, notes, presentation prep..."

He groaned dramatically. "You’re gonna burn yourself out. I told you, you need to relax sometimes."

"I’m here, aren’t I?" I teased, raising an eyebrow.

"True," he said with a grin. "I’ll take what I can get."

Finally, the bill arrived, and I couldn’t help but glance at it from the corner of my eye.

It was time.

"So," I said, feigning nonchalance as I folded my napkin. "What if we split the bill tonight?"

Jungkook paused mid-reach for the check, his eyes snapping to mine.

"What?" he said, his voice calm but laced with confusion.

"You know," I said with a small shrug, "50/50. Equal partnership, right?"

For a moment, he just stared at me, his expression unreadable. Then, he leaned back in his chair, crossing his arms.

"Is this a test?" he asked, narrowing his eyes suspiciously.

"What? No," I lied, trying to keep a straight face.

 Jungkook slid his card to the waiter with a firm gesture, cutting me off entirely.

"I’m your man, you’re my woman," he began, his tone steady but laced with conviction. "I am responsible for you and our finances. You’re my future wife, the number one woman in my life, and the mother of my future children. How could I even think of making you pay?"

I blinked, caught off guard by his response. "But—"

"No buts," he interrupted.

Then, as if on cue, his gaze shifted toward my phone. His expression softened, his brows raising slightly as realization dawned.

"Babyyy..." he whined, his voice taking on a playful edge as he looked at me with mock betrayal. "You’re filming me, aren’t you?"

I couldn’t hold back a giggle, my shoulders shaking as I tried to keep the phone steady. "Kook..." I whispered, almost apologetically, though the blush on my face deepened from the vulnerability of his earlier confession.

He sighed, shaking his head but chuckling as he paid for the meal. Once the waiter returned with the receipt, he stood and helped me up like the gentleman he always was.

----

Before he could start the car, I reached out and rested my head on his shoulder.

"You passed the experiment," I muttered softly, the words muffled against his jacket.

He let out a laugh, the deep sound reverberating in his chest. He turned slightly to look at me, his eyes warm as they met mine.

"You’re unbelievable," he said, his voice filled with affection.

We stayed like that for a moment, the silence between us comfortable and familiar. Then, without warning, he leaned in, brushing his lips against mine in a kiss that was soft at first but quickly grew deeper.

His hand cupped the side of my face, tilting my head slightly as he deepened the kiss, pulling me closer.

My heart raced as I kissed him back, my hand curling around the fabric of his jacket. But just as the moment began to intensify, I pulled back slightly, my forehead resting against his.

"Let’s go home first... please?" I whispered, my voice barely audible as I smiled at him.

He chuckled softly, his thumb brushing against my cheek before he leaned back in his seat, his eyes still fixed on me.

"Anything you want, baby," he murmured, his voice full of promise as he started the car and drove us home.

[bladekindeyewear]

HS^2 bloggin’ mainline 2024-10-08

(Previous post - current page 666)

Just caught the tweet announcing an Update as soon it went up! From the look of the log it seems we're moving on, unless there was an addition to p666 which I doubt since they would have warned people to update their cache in the tweet or what have you. So it's time to finally move on from this page, I'm clicking that Next button!

I get the feeling from the log moving onward that this situation isn't going to be resolved in the next page, and we're either going to cut back later... or cut back to Vriska emerging from the Plot Point from John and the others' perspective, because we know she only has one thing left to do. (Other than the question of exactly how she's leaving there, which I assumed would be something special rather than the Plot Point simply "running out of time".)

(==>)

Yep, the resolution with Vriska is coming later.

ROSE: This is an impressive shield. ROSE: I don't think I've ever seen you make one this size before. JADE: ive been practicing! JADE: if i stay focused i should be able to keep it up for quite a while.

Oh heck I didn't notice, that's a cool-ass green Spacey shield with a Space symbol on it! That ought to be a tough nut to crack with any weaponry! (Is she protecting the ship, or the rebel forces maybe? The bubble doesn't seem to be wrapped around the meteor.)

ROSE: Honestly, if it gets to be too much of a hassle, we should be fine as long as the kids stay inside. ROSE: This ship was specifically designed to take a battering. JADE: from artillery maybe JADE: but who knows what kind of other nasty weapons jane has tucked away in her diabolical business pantsuit! JADE: its not like she tells jake everything JADE: or almost anything, really JADE: when it comes to the kids id rather be safe than sorry ROSE: Sure.

Ohh, of course they're shielding the ship, especially the part containing the children. A good chance they won't just stay inside though, especially given this caveat being announced-- though whether they can or can't get through Jade's shield is a different story, unless they break out some new powers or the ship's possible transportalizers.

JADE: by the way JADE: i saw kanaya leave earlier ROSE: She's meeting Karkat on the field. JADE: without you? ROSE: Yes. ROSE: She made it pretty clear that it wouldn't be wise for me to join her. JADE: oh... ROSE: Mhm. ROSE: Some barb about the danger of me "Being Maimed Quite Viciously" on account of all humans looking the same once the bloodshed begins. ROSE: Then she shot me a peace sign and walked away. JADE: ugh, im sorry rose :(

Yeah, Kanaya's off working out some SERIOUS stress most likely. And Rose was very awful pulling that Sapphire future vision excuse to avoid contending with the emotions of the present, to "stop trying" with her. Hopefully someone or something lights some sense under her ass, maybe something to do with the children and them going off to do something dangerous simply because Rose hadn't bothered with the trouble of discussing more of the live situation with them... I dunno. She clearly needs something jarred loose about her attitude, if what Jade said earlier didn't explicitly do it. Maybe Jade can help more right now?

JADE: this should never have happened JADE: between yiffys capture and rescue and finding dave... JADE: like that... JADE: i just feel like my life flashed before my eyes and it made me a little crazy! JADE: after being unconscious for a bit things feel way clearer now ROSE: Nothing beats a rump to the skull for mental clarity.

Oh my god, Tavros actually knocked her out cold when he fell from the ceiling?! (And I'm reminded again that she was carrying the stuffed corpse or arm of someone, presumably Dave but we can't be 100% sure.) I wonder if this is trying to make excuses for some of her Candy-timeline behavior... though out of all of them, she has the least to excuse, really? I feel like both versions of her were remarkably in character and didn't do nearly as much weird potentially-Muse-guided stuff like Roxy and others at that initial funeral for Dirk back in the epilogues.

JADE: the mistakes we made are so obvious to me now JADE: embarrassingly obvious! JADE: we should never have talked to john in front of kanaya, for one thing JADE: they required way different approaches ROSE: Oh, so that was the problem? JADE: one of them at least

Bolding Rose for dryly pointing out that this is VERY MUCH a backslide into the wrong approach to this entire situation that Jade's having, focusing on the actions required to approach or defuse each person as if fulfilling video game objectives, trying to make everyone happy instead of trying to come clean and trusting the others to do as they will. She's trying to control (Witch) the situation too much, which was her issue in the Candy timeline in the first place.

JADE: i definitely wasnt expecting you to say all THAT either JADE: but i know she hit a sore spot so its understandable why you lost your temper JADE: its my fault for panicking ROSE: Interesting. ROSE: I didn't even realize I was mad. JADE: i mean JADE: it brought me back to the last time i mentioned your mom and you flipped that table ROSE: I was eighteen. JADE: you didnt talk to me for a month! ROSE: Eighteen years old. JADE: yeah and i havent tried to talk to you about it since!

Oh damn, those are some gigantic fucking unresolved Mom issues she has in this version of events that it sounds like she should have seen a psychologist or dozen about! D:

JADE: look all im saying is JADE: i understand why things went downhill the way they did and im not going to get caught off guard again JADE: this whole situation is my fault and even though it just keeps getting more frustrating and shitty im going to do right by you JADE: were going to figure this out ROSE: Are you sure it's prudent to keep this amateur marriage counselor performance up? JADE: rose... JADE: youre taking this seriously JADE: right? ROSE: I don't know what you mean by that.

Jade is still thinking she has to be in control and responsible for everything... and Rose is so afraid of tackling everything that she's practically dissociated from her own marriage. Her distorted Seer of Light vision or not, that's not going to help-- again, Steven Universe taught us that with Sapphire in Keystone Motel.

(==>)

COOL-ASS shot of Jade and her adorable pawprint gloves-- goofy shot of Rose with her short hair practically invisible. :D

JADE: i think you do but bleh whatever as long as we don't have a repeat of last time we can still position you as the good guy JADE: or at least less of a bad guy JADE: though playing stupid and cajoling her into slapping me around for catharsis wont work anymore JADE: well have to think of something else... ROSE: Jade, I've been compliant with these clumsy machinations partially because they weren't all that consequential at the time, but you need to cut your losses. ROSE: It's time to start looking beyond the end of your own nose, and accept that these methods aren't going to work. ROSE: This is not a situation you can win. JADE: im not trying to "win" anything!

Yes she is, this is exactly what I was talking about! Jade treating this like a problem to be solved instead of confronted, much like she did with trying to be in a relationship with Dave and Karkat at once in this timeline, instead of allowing others agency to help determine the endpoint of the situation. Because if she's too controlling, those methods themselves are going to dismantle her efforts, which at least Rose recognizes even if SHE'S wrong about other things.

JADE: im trying to be an adult and not run away from this ROSE: Look, I know better than anyone the satisfaction of gaming people's reactions and getting into their heads. JADE: (oh my god are you even listening to me) ROSE: But it's a losing game. ROSE: You're going to push too hard, or misconstrue something critical, or cross another line. ROSE: And you'll regret it. ROSE: That's not conjecture, it's a guarantee.

She IS right. But she's also being defeatist to avoid opening up and admitting fault, and ESPECIALLY to avoid confronting any uncomfortable emotions or problems she's still stopped trying to confront both without and within herself. That Mom stuff especially from the sound of it. Maybe unpacking that at some point soon will help shake Rose loose a bit.

JADE: youre so frustrating to talk to these days! JADE: "ohhhh bluh bluh blah i can see the fruitlessness of all our clumsy insignificant thrashing in fates cosmic current" JADE: dont forget im more than a little versed in future sight myself ok JADE: i dont care how credible it seems, you cant depend on that information!

An allusion to her long, long childhood stint inverted to Seer of Time and guiding everyone with Skaia's clouds before she was knocked violently loose from the habit out onto a true path of active agency!

ROSE: I know it's hard to hear, but you need to take a second to think about what I'm saying. ROSE: Don't you feel the least bit relieved? ROSE: You've spent so many years wrangling this dirty little secret. JADE: that "dirty little secret" is my fucking daughter ROSE: Well, now she's not a secret anymore. ROSE: You don't have to shoulder the burden of keeping her tucked away from everyone in the entire world for fear of the consequences, because the consequences have happened. ROSE: You're free to invest all that energy elsewhere. ROSE: Maybe work on yourself a little bit. ROSE: We could even unpack the hamster guy. JADE: oh we are not talking about the fucking hamster guy JADE: i don't want to talk about any of it really!

It's kind of fascinating how they've constructed a conversation where not only are BOTH parties acting so wrong, they're also completely right in naming each other's faults. Jade, the problem *IS* that you don't want to talk about it.

JADE: ever again! JADE: thinking back to that whole conversation makes my skin crawl!!! JADE: "abloo hoo hoo, my life is a monkey paw, everything i want hurts me in the end" ROSE: It was a little pathetic. JADE: I KNOW!

Jade has been hiding her vulnerability from the ENTIRE WORLD to the point where she essentially wanted to stop existing, except vicariously through her daughter, and she thinks now that it's been uncorked a little she can just go RIGHT BACK to never dealing with her problems ever again. NOPE! Doesn't work that way, Jade!

JADE: it had nothing to do with what we were trying to DO JADE: it just derailed everything... JADE: and worst of all, yiffy heard it! JADE: ugh!!!! ROSE: You can't keep trying to control the narrative forever, Jade.

Hah!!! (Bolded for emphasis.) Controlling the narrative, controlling her friends, controlling reality because reality IS "the narrative" here (and Space is the story's pages).

Geez I've had a lot to say and I'm only partway through the second page of this upd8.

ROSE: If Kanaya wants to hate me, or punish me, she has every right to. ROSE: She asked for the truth. JADE: oh come off it!!! JADE: the truth is whatever people WANT to believe JADE: you can either try forcing them to understand your side JADE: leave it completely in their hands and take no responsibility JADE: or you work with their wants and perspectives JADE: and make some informed compromises ROSE: Over the state of reality? JADE: rose i am begging you can you please cut it out with all the cryptic cosmic crap and come back down to earth???

Rose is absolutely WAY too defeatist here, and Jade is still trying to take too much control. FORCING them to understand your side? It's impossible for people to perfectly understand each other-- and mutual understanding takes time and being open about yourself. Jade had to be forcibly pried open into revealing what vulnerabilities she actually had here and she thinks it's pathetic and regrettable, instead of the biggest step towards salvaging this situation that anyone has taken so far, which it was!!! Taking responsibility means taking responsibility for your own flaws; at least Jade is right here that Rose is basically taking NO RESPONSIBILITY AT ALL for her side of the relationship, consigning it all to fate so she doesn't have to work on herself. Neither of them want to confront what's wrong inside their own hearts and their own insecurities. (When really they should be opening up about themselves and getting closer to my Kanaya/Rose/Jade OT3 ship. /s )

ROSE: Things aren't like they used to be, Jade. ROSE: There are no right or wrong routes, anymore. ROSE: Just a tangle of meandering side-paths. JADE: so what, that gives you a free pass to self-destruct? JADE: the best choice was to "double down and say a bunch of horrible insane shit to your wife" ?

Rose still feels deep down that because this isn't a "relevant" timeline anymore, that nothing here matters, just like Vriska used to. Maybe if they pull off the Plot Point plan and forcibly drag this timeline closer to relevance, something will kick off in Rose's mind that tells her, GUESS WHAT, THE STAGE LIGHTS ARE ON, you can't just say that this entire timeline doesn't matter anymore? Hmm.

ROSE: Jade, over the course of 15 years, when have any of your efforts done a grain of good? ROSE: For yourself or Dave? JADE: woooooooow i know what youre doing ok? JADE: go ahead push every button i have i dont give a fuck JADE: youre the one that has everything to lose here JADE: and no matter what awful things you say it wont change the fact im worried about you ROSE: Don't be. ROSE: I've done fairly well for myself this past decade and a half. ROSE: I've been happy. JADE: thats whats scaring me! JADE: youre not prepared for how bad it can get JADE: you have no idea at all!!!!!!!!!!! ROSE: If you say so.

Having felt like she failed with Dave, and then had him go off and die on her rather than stay with her, Jade is TERRIFIED that Rose is going to ruin the amazing thing she's had with Kanaya out of apathy and fear. Maybe if Kanaya turns out to be in serious danger from something she didn't foresee, and Rose actually has to confront being genuinely scared of losing her for good, it can dislodge Rose from feeling like she'd be happy letting everything keep falling apart around her? That she absolutely HAS TO FIGHT to keep this relationship, that a relationship requires "trying", and that you can't waste time not trying at all thinking you have everything locked down tight and nothing to lose, because as Jade recently learned you can lose EVERYTHING in a moment.

JADE: ... between you and dave and john i dont know whos worse JADE: is it really that hard for any of you to care? JADE: if you dont get your head on straight and begin trying shell leave you JADE: all youve had together and everything you could have had JADE: gone! JADE: and since youre so cool with talking about your mom now JADE: you shouldve learned that lesson from her a long time ago! ROSE: Excuse me-

OUCH. Bringing up all the regrets from the moments after Rose realized she'd lost her mother, lost ANY CHANCE to make amends with her before Jack killed her... the moments which Jade was there for over pesterchum talking to her during, right before she flew into a Grimdark rage.

JADE: look it takes a lot of concentration to hold this perimeter JADE: i think itd be best if you looked after the kids ROSE: ... JADE: inside. ROSE: Fine.

Why is the next command "Rose: Ramble"? Is she going to start talking to herself? Probably, set up by Jade's "(oh my god are you even listening to me)" line. Pulling a Dave Strider and talking to herself since she can't hold a conversation with Jade here.

(Rose: Ramble)

Yeah that's a dark, hopeless, kind of dissociated look on her face.

Oh she's rambling INTERNALLY, there's a lot of black text on this page. XD

You saunter on out of there. You could say so much more, but it’s fine. Jade has no idea what she’s talking about. There’s not a thing to worry about here. You came out the womb playing defense, you’re not about to drop the ball now.

Opening up for self-examination, being vulnerable like they BOTH need to let themselves be to move forward, is the polar opposite of "playing defense". I wonder if she's dunking on herself, here.

If you hadn’t, maybe you’d be more concerned with the torrent of bullshit you’re dealing with. You really are getting it from all ends here, between Jade’s guilt-ridden busybodying and the glint of rage and pain in your wife’s eyes and the sudden, inexplicable tragedy of your brother’s demise.

Ohhh fuck. Dave's death is hitting her too. I'm not sure why I forgot it would. No wonder she's been shutting down instead of confronting anything.

All that on top of the twist of your gut every time you see your mother in Roxy’s face or hear her in Roxy’s voice. Really, you should be losing your shit. Instead, your emotions are in order and your shit is on lockdown exactly where you tucked it away, smooth operator that you are. God, you need a fucking drink.

Gosh, that's sad. And yeah, she totally IS dunking on herself. She knows on some level that something's seriously wrong with her, and she's just avoiding it, conceding defeat even though she knows she's undoubtedly part of the problem. A part of the problem she's partially given up on fixing.

Submission -- to fate, to the oblivion of drink, to everyone else's will -- is Void, simultaneously the essential duality of and a weakpoint of her nature as a Light player.

Instead of folding, you try to curb the craving by focusing on the inside of your hand and slowly moving that energy to your fingertips. Jade is right, of course, but only on a base, intuitive level that is otherwise lacking in specifics and easily misinterpreted and manipulated. For there to be inarguable truth there has to not only be an authority, but one that cares enough to reinforce their intentions absolutely, and you can’t imagine any such authority caring all that much about this laughable mess.

I'm not sure if I completely agree on inarguable truth being contingent on an authority existing (I mean I suppose so in terms of the limits of both-scientific-and-historical observation in our universe, relying on human and imperfect accounts, and also it's DEFINITELY true when talking about A STORY and being able to read the author's interpretation of something or if there was one at all as opposed to the Death Of The Author that Andrew has been foreshadowing since most of the way through Homestuck is what he believes to be a better outcome for the work), but I suppose she doesn't realize that Calliope is the one who authored this timeline-- the living, non-ascended Calliope back in the Meat side. And she absolutely cared-- and we, the readers, do too!

If there’s no truth, then why even bother looking for your best option? Just leave the hierarchy of choices in ashes, the Mayor would be so proud. And then horribly disappointed, realizing this doesn't mean democratic power to the people. It means total fucking black out.

She's really, REALLY hung up on this being a non-canon timeline isn't she? Not only that-- but an AUTHORLESS timeline. She sees this whole timeline as Void (a black out, devoid of meaning and importance) and she can't see how she should actually be caring about it; she's just as doubtful about the validity of non-canon works of Homestuck, that the fanfics that we come up with because we care about these characters could be anywhere as interesting or worth caring about as canon, much in line with Dirk Strider's viewpoint that nothing could possibly matter if it doesn't have a Higher Purpose to the main, author-stamped story. Luckily enough HS^2's entire thematic structure is built to eventually prove her wrong, to teach her and Dirk and all the rest of us that Homestuck and its characters are worthwhile even wrested from the author's grip!

It’s only through quite rigorous contemplation of this metaphysical miasma (to the detriment, some might say, of your attention to the present moment) that you’ve managed to glean much of anything at all, a wonder in and of itself. Trying to decode these countless twisting paths has taken years of practice, but like all your favorite games the tedium enhances the satisfaction of playing. A small pastime, like a crossword, to privately enjoy outside the scope of any intrusive third persons. Currently, for example, you know that Vriska’s up to something important within the meteor. Exceedingly important, actually, far more important than anything here has had any right to be in a long, long time. It’s a point of almost disturbing clarity in the otherwise nebulous and ill-defined milieu of your prognosticative purview. You’re not quite sure what it actually is, though.

Interesting look into her non-ultimate Seer of Light talents, and the current limits they possess based on the combination of her abilities' limits in this Candyverse and her own beliefs and perspective. Why IS what Vriska's doing so important?

It doesn’t really matter, in the long run. Important or not, Vriska’s going to fail. Jane’s going to fail, too; really, just about everyone is going to fail to do something that really matters. In an unsuccessful effort to stave off that failure, and perhaps to atone for it on some level, Calliope will sacrifice herself, fruitlessly. You’re not exempt from the firing squad, either. In the imminent battle, you are going to be shot in the head, the bullet burying deep into your moral grey matter and jamming up the works of your conditional immortality, leaving you confined to a hospital bed. You had to pull all kinds of ridiculous, eyebrow-raising Chaos Theory shit to figure that one out. The rat-tail was worth it, your daughter’s anguish aside.

I'm not sure what she means by "the rat-tail" (does one of the people she knows have that hairdo?? Meenah? what does that have to do with her daughter? if anyone knows what she's alluding to by saying "the rat-tail was worth it" let me know in the replies), but I'm starting to see why she's been acting so hopeless. She doesn't mind Kanaya getting serious distance from her because she thinks she's going to get locked into a coma soon and she doesn't want Kanaya to mourn her as badly. That's pretty fucking depressing. I wonder which parts of this whole prediction are wrong, and why?

Calliope, this Calliope, sacrificing herself I can absolutely see (she's done observing within her fanfic, in a sense, and while not in a serious relationship with anyone she might decide to step out of the way and relinquish her Ring of Life for the sake of saving someone else)-- but fruitlessly how? And if Vriska is going to "fail", then why is what she's doing so damned important, hm? Fail at what, and gain what else in the process, to still invoke such importance? That's not something Rose has addressed or been willing to see. (EDIT: To clarify a bit here, not only is she blind to the purpose Vriska will accomplish-- it's definitely possible that Vriska leaves the plot point WITHOUT resolving her psychological issues, "fail" to, but even then she'll be only one step away from becoming her Ultimate Self at a pivotal moment and she'll already know what that last step IS inside herself, holding on to the Point's importance to finally do the most important step at a later time after getting out. That's just one of many ways to spin things, and she's blind to the true purpose of the Point regardless, or what "failure" truly constitutes in this situation.) Will Rose really enter a coma, and if she does, is her fatalism keeping her from seeing that some unexpected ray of hope is probably going to free her from said coma?

Kanaya may not see it this way at first, but your lobotomy sleepytime will be a well-earned, golden opportunity for her. A chance to experience life unshackled from the ol’ ball and chain. Even if it requires you to foist some compelling motivation for her to embrace it. She can’t waste her independence waiting on you again. You refuse to accept that outcome. What’s the point of a world where anything is possible if the love of your life won’t explore her full potential?

Yeah fuck that!!! I figured this was where Rose was leading, seeing herself as a net negative and refusing to believe that she's WORTH Kanaya, an insecurity she holds so tightly to that she's unwilling to fight for her own happiness. Thinking Kanaya's true potential lays in places that won't circle right back to you eventually. (Rose might be hinting at Kanaya unlocking some of her latent power, quite possibly-- considering the Sylph of Space as a healer, breaking through to that potential might even be enough to save her from the coma she's mentioning.)

It might even be gratifying for her romantically, though you haven’t peered too deeply down those corridors out of respect for her hypothetical privacy (surely not because they’d make you want to rip off your own face to perceive; that’d be hypocritical). Whatever. It’ll be good for her to stretch her legs, and it’s not like you’ll be awake to miss her.

Interesting... now THIS is a huge, huge blindspot for Rose. Since she's refusing to look down the paths of possibility where Kanaya feels for anyone other than her, what if this is one of the biggest reasons she's missing the path of possibility which eventually saves her and reunites them? (No, I'm not just saying that for the sake of Kanaya/Rose/Jade OT3... not entirely, anyway. >_>")

Or everything will collapse and everybody will disappear. It’ll certainly happen eventually. Maybe in an hour, maybe a day, a couple weeks, millenia from now. Who’s to say? Those specifics are beyond you now.

Everyone's seriously underestimating the Candy timeline. Everyone except Roxy and Calliope, the Rogue of Void and the Muse of Space, working together across the canon-to-non-canon barrier... the perfect pair of heroes to set events into motion that will make everything outside of canon real.

It’s this thought that unwinds you, untwisting your knickers. It’s hard to take things too seriously when you know that the details don’t matter and the ending never changes. It’s out of your hands. There’s nothing left to lose.

When Did You Stop Trying

She's practically LETTING herself get shot just so she doesn't have to see the rest of a story she doesn't think matters! Hopefully she'll be rather ridiculously surprised to find her timeline mattering after all-- to everyone both inside and outside their story. Hopefully we don't have to watch her agonize TOO long waiting for her to figure that shit out, even if the possibility of a certain duration of coma ends up making that wait longer than we'd like. At least in that case, we'll get to see the flabbergasted look on her face when she's brought out of her condition and realizes that everything suddenly matters again!

(==>)

A preview of what she sees ahead. Damn.

You’re nobody now. Just a shadow. Dirk was right to leave. He would have hated this existence. Ah, well.

I'd hoped both this Rose and Rosebot wouldn't make the exact same mistake, because hopefully we get to see them both convinced out of it... but possibly it could be circumstantially simultaneous? That'd be pretty appropriate given one of them is Ultimate Rose.

All tension has left your body, at this point. You don’t retreat to the heart of the ship; you have somewhere to be, so you set off, moving not towards a definitive point on the horizon but in cadence with a song that dances on the periphery of your awareness. You heard its first few tentative notes years ago. A subtle ‘ding’ when your ecto-father died. A little ‘dong’ when your wife handed you your daughter. A clear ‘ting’ when an old friend asked you for her first and only favor. Over time, and especially within the past few days, these scattered sounds have woven together into a compelling melody.

This sounds sort of like a mix of what meat!Calliope wrote into the Candy timeline, and intervention of other authors like Dirk excising himself to strengthen his meat!timeline importance? But mostly that Calliope, the story written in part by that distant author who wouldn't leave you to such a fate as you're expecting.

It helps you drown out the noise of war and focus, taking you back to times when there was destiny and indignation and righteous fury. A colorful cat-squid princess, advising a young girl to “play the rain.” She wanted so much, always needing to be seen, desperate to fight for some shred of validation. Only to never appreciate what was already in front of her. Thankfully, you aren’t her anymore. You don’t owe her anything either. You are unbound to that person completely. Defunct. As above, so below.

I wonder if that statement, behaving like this is Hell (to go with Vriska's purgatorial little trip in the Point), is also a reference to her making the same mistakes on both sides of the Candy/Meat divide? And I wonder if Rosebot truly believes, deep down, that she's the unlucky one in Hell too. Probably not yet, or at least not consciously, especially with Dirk artificially suppressing her doubts. (Also, playing the rain brought up again because at least ONE of these Roses is going to have to pull it off before HS^2 ends!!! It's one of the biggest unfulfilled threads that people wanted to see filled in Homestuck before it ended, and its subsequent continuation-- and goes hand in hand with all of Rose's unresolved psychological issues too somehow most likely, unless it's going to be done to show us that it wasn't indeed the biggest point after all?)

Also, just noting on the side the comparison of the woven thread of the narrative and fate to a musical score, one where the different authors, participants, are contributing parts of the music and different instruments, like the Fraymotifs that blended their aspects to write reality like a song.

Also also, it occurs to me that if Rose is going to enter a coma, she's quite possibly already going to have left a VERY INFURIATING farewell note for Kanaya that shows she saw her coma coming all along, and inadvertently clues Kanaya into the stupid game Rose had been playing by distancing herself so cruelly.

(==>)

A troll soldier looks down from something.

(==>)

Oh, they're bumping face first into a (much taller than them? and very pissed) Kanaya aren't they.

(==>)

Ooh, aglow, too. I wonder if this is a younger recruit or if Kanaya is just tall and huge now; she didn't seem like she compared much taller than Rose and Jade, though most people have always seen Kanaya as tall. This seems like the sort of thing I'd like to see artist commentary on when it comes out. (I've been trying to chew on the artist commentary first back-to-front from where HS^2 first became Beyond Canon, but I'm very slow at it due to some energy issues lately, so even Part 1 of that will be some time coming.)

(==>)

Literally haloed in light! If you weren't so preoccupied with your imminent demise, Rose, you could take some time to appreciate how amazing your wife is and believing in how much she loves you instead of thinking yourself less worthy than SHE thinks of you and casting her off.

(Commanders: Congregate.)

Ooh she mad.

Nothing too important in this page's dialogue, other than Kanaya acknowledging that Rose and Jade won't be involved in directly attacking and that she'd rather that be the case regardless, from an emotional standpoint. She definitely still wants Rose out of the line of fire, even if she's mad at her. (And Jade pulling defensive duty around the children might lose you a big offensive card but it isn't TOO bad, hopefully.)

(==>)

KARKAT: FUCK ‘EM.

Hah! Totally moirails. (Also look at that BLOOD imagery behind the grasping of hands, in all colors of the hemospectrum. That's not subtle Aspect imagery at all! I love unsubtle Aspect imagery! :D )

(==>)

MEENAH: shell yes motherblubber MEENAH: wayward wenches betta step the fuck back MEENAH: its a troll thaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaang

you're ruining the mood meenah

(Jane: Push the big red button. Blast it all to high heaven.)

Yeah Jake's gonna have dismantled that moon superweapon WELL before it fires.

You do not push the button because that would be incredibly stupid. The battle hasn't even started yet. Instead you take advantage of the momentary quiet to breathe. To think about life. About situations you could have handled differently. Feelings you could have... considered better. People you could have saved.

Does she? Does she really? Really now? ¬_¬"

(==>)

OH GOD IT'S A GIANT CAKE LASER THAT'S HILARIOUS

Your father never did voice any kind of opinion on your parenting style. In hindsight, he was probably avoiding the subject altogether. Or didn’t think much about it, focusing his pride on your exploits instead. He did raise a businesswoman, after all. At any point you could have asked for his advice. Now you can't. 15 years. Utterly botched.

Yeah, she definitely screwed the heck up on the parenting front, I suppose that *IS* something she's seriously reckoning with now that Jake has pulled back the curtain. It's too late for her to consider backing down, but she's at least going to feel some regrets and let that eat deservedly away at her before her final moments in this timeline.

Oh pfff, I hadn't even looked at the title of the next link (I'm guessing the answer is YES OF COURSE)

(Jane: Consider, is it too late?)

Of course not.

Really?

You remind yourself, you are incredibly young for a god. It’s natural for your growing pains to be this calamitous. All of the struggle and regret will feed into a brighter future. Newfound order will ensure stability, leading to a period of progress this planet has never seen before. There is so much living left. So many opportunities. This will not be your last chance. You’ll do better with the next one.

This is pretty in line with the way megalomaniacal way Jane behaved back when she was controlled by the Condesce, envisioning an empire with Jake at her side bearing her children forever. Candy is essentially an entire timeline where she followed through on her ambitions without constraint.

Speaking of constraint-- (Gee I thought he was totally going to take the Third Option and fly up to destroy the laser, this can't be over this quickly with a gun to the head--)

(Jane: Look behind you.)

Oh dear, so it definitely IS assassination, then. You must really hate how bad she's been for the children, Jake, to really go through with this as personally as BGD suggested. I was thinking about turning points like this for Hope players (in other media actually, a certain Hope player in Murder Drones actually) and moments of Rage being negative or positive turning points in equal measure, points where their belief in the breadth of possibility is pushed into a corner and it's time for them to narrow everything down to ONE CHANCE, to do or die, to a gun to someone's head or a blade to someone's neck and a willingness to cut a possibility off forever when it REALLY COUNTS to come in balance with their role (in ways depicted in Murder Drones with, hint hint, exactly one of their eyes showing a murder-mode X and the other eye open, as if on the tipping point before that Hope is cut off). How for a Hope player to be effective and balanced, they HAVE to know when they can't just sit on their heels and need to take action even if it means cutting off all the other paths they WISHED were true but can't be, acknowledging reality.

But seriously, if he was fast enough he could have just flown to space and blown up the Cake Laser. I guess this is more effective.

JANE: Jake? JAKE: Hi. Sweetheart. JANE: What are you doing here? Is everything ok? JAKE: It's all gravy train, don't worry! I was only thinking to myself and... JAKE: realized how sorry i'd be if i didn't come wish you good luck. JANE: How thoughtful! JAKE: Mm hm! JAKE: Come here.

Is that really going to work? Maybe with Jane deluding herself this much right now. I feel life if Jake actually pulls this off it'll end the battle far too quickly; maybe he'll shoot her and her Maid of Life powers will bring her back to retaliate the moment he turns his back on the body?

(==>)

Oh dear, he's going in EXTREMELY personal for this isn't he. A point blank shot through the heart in honor of Dirk maybe?

JANE: Well! That felt very lucky. JANE: Hoo, hoo! JAKE: I was hoping so ha ha! JANE: Thank you. ;B JANE: Wow you sure are holding me very tight, I assure you we don't have that kind of time sir! JANE: *eyebrow wiggle* JAKE: So right! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. JAKE: Oh Jane. JAKE: Before I let go, I wanted to say first. It's been a hard life and all but, JAKE: I'm really happy I got to see you. JANE: Me too J! JAKE: And... I'm going to miss you. JANE: Aw! JANE: Wait, what?

Looks like she didn't see it coming, even if I don't think it's gonna stick. Just exhausting whatever extra life she's built up in reserve, I'd bet.

[click]

(==>)

OW, to the head! No wonder there was a blood/violence warning in the tweet announcing this upd8.

(==>)

Oh god that's horrifying it didn't finish her off

this dialogue is horrifying why do you have to traumatize Jake more like this he's promising it'll stop oh that's awful okay serious fucking trigger warnings ouch

(==>)

OH GOD and she healed herself and knocked his aim off course. This is why you always double tap. D:

She's gonna be PISSED. (I didn't need the vivid mental imagery of bullets stuck in heads a third time counting Rose AND this anyway, brain damage is a bit of a trigger for me.) Hopefully Jake at least gets away, or destroys the launch button, or with his assassination attempt failed NOW goes to fly off and destroy the cake laser directly on the moon.

(==>)

Alright that's pretty cool! Not good obviously, but inevitable.

JAKE: W-w-w-w-w-w-wha? JANE: As I was saying- JANE: Jake.

Counter-attack incoming.

(==>)

JANE: IF YOU HAVE ONE SHOT

(==>)

OH THAT'S SOME HYPER VIOLENT PISTOL WHIPPING OUCH. EVEN IN BEYOND CANON THEY AREN'T HOLDING BACK A BIT ON THE MATURE GODDAMN RATING even when it isn't a psychological deep dive owowow

JANE: YOU BETTER JANE: MAKE IT JANE: *FUCKING* JANE: COOOOOUUUUUUUUNT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I wonder how he's going to get away? He deserves to after this, and also he's possibly the only one who knows about the space laser and isn't coming out of this without at least one big solid heroic accomplishment that sticks under his belt. The space laser seems pretty much designed for him to intervene.

(==>)

You stop your onslaught, knowing the next couple blows will finish the job. A just death. How romantic.

Pfff-- I guess even if she killed him, it wouldn't announce that the death had been Heroic over his head.

Oh wait, I just realized--! Jake has TWO GUNS. Both the prior shots ought only to have been from one, unless he switched to single shot pistols for some arcane reason.

Between the adrenaline and taste of blood in your mouth, the decision is clear to you. You will not fail yourself. You will claim the spoils of this war and oversee a thriving planet. Cultivating an ever bettering stock of humanity. Your future. On and on. Forever. Alone.

Yeah sure you will.

Wait, what does that next link even mean? --Oh, it's Spades Slick and the co-opted Felt gang members she captured isn't it?? :D I've been waiting for her to unleash them!

(Jane: Release the Brig Boys.)

Wait what the fuck

As if!!!!! Maybe some time in the trenches with the Brig Boys will do him some good.

Oh my GOD she's seriously letting him go?! I'm not sure if that's not even more messed up in the head of her than killing him! She's seriously got a screw loose. She's really afraid of being alone and sure he'll come back to her side, isn't she, even if she needs a leash to force him? (And plot-speaking this just gives him a chance to fly up and bust the Moon Laser.)

Why are they Brig Boys, doesn't that mean prisoners? I mean I guess she probably paranoidly imprisoned some of the clone soldiers, but...

(==>)

Oof, Jake splats to the ground.

Death would be a kindness, after all. You gave Jake a shot to stay by your side and make something of himself, but in the end he proved himself just another deserter. You should have seen it coming; you learned 15 years ago that people will slip right through your fingers if you let them.

well what's your plan then

It’s fine. You won’t let go again. Jake is your means to an end. When you scramble his frontal lobe, you’ll make sure it doesn’t heal right. It won’t be much of a change, anyway.

JESUS CHRIST WOMAN

If I didn't know better I'd accuse someone who worked on this slate of updates to have known about my trigger about the idea of brain damage and personally stacked this one up against me! Good thing I worked out a lot of my fears in therapy so much before this, sheesh. Beyond Canon might know when to STOP punching and crack a joke but when they punch they don't pull those punches, ouch.

(Jane: Commence battle.)

Good thing Jake's already sitting up. You'd better not wallow in that discouragement from the failed assassination attempt, GO AFTER THE MOON LASER. (Though, Rose did warn us that from her biased point of view "just about everyone is going to fail to do something that really matters".)

(Jake: Look out into distance.)

JAKE: TAVROS!

Aw damn, is he going to fly in to help and leave the moon laser problem to someone else? At least he's the one parent of Tavros's focused on something he should of the two.

(==>)

That's a letter from Rose and a pack of trail mix. Rose, now that we know you're lining up future events so things turn out a certain neutral-victory sort of way, I can't help but wonder what the fuck you're planning with the kids. (And how they're going to potentially far surpass your limited expectations.)

On the plus side this means that as soon as we've reckoned with that letter WE FINALLY GET BACK TO THESE KIDS AND POTENTIALLY HAVING SOME FUCKING DIALOGUE THAT INCLUDES YIFFY OR IS ABOUT AND AROUND HER AT LEAST, I'VE BEEN WAITING SO EXCITED TO GET BACK TO THEM AFTER THAT JADE HEART-OUTPOUR THAT YIFFY OVERHEARD AND IS LIKELY STILL MIFFED ABOUT! :DDD Gosh I've been waiting for Yiffy and the other kids to interact more.

I'm extra busy with family stuff for a couple weeks so I probably won't post anything extra between now and the next update, but as usual I'll be right there when it arrives. Until next time!

[bronx-bomber87]

Happy Monday wonderful fandom :) I can’t believe we’ve reached the finale I’m in shock we're here. This has been my side hobby for 9 plus months. I started these to get through the extended hiatus. I wasn’t even sure anyone would even read them. The response I got was so lovely. I adore this fandom. So welcoming to any new Chenford content.

So thank you to everyone who’s read these especially those who've been with me since the very beginning. I can’t explain how much it has meant to me. Whether it was likes, reblogs or comments. Special shout out to my tumblr bestie @makeitastrength and @northern-neighbor You both commented on every single one of these. Thank you so much for your insight and sticking with me this entire time. Means more than you'll ever know.

I’m planning to do mini reviews during this new season. Then this same kind of thing during our hiatus hopefully we’ll have S7 locked in by then. *fingers crossed* I finished this before S6 which was my goal. We are only 8 days away which is unreal. Eeeee. Let us get started.

5x22 Under Siege

This episode starts off with all kinds of anxiety. Aaron and Celina kill me with not calling the noise in WHY.... Why didn’t you call it in? Ugh. Celina lying on top of Aaron protecting him till they arrive. Rip my damn heart out right off the bat why don't ya? I’m going to cry. I love Tim and Lucy showing up to the scene together. They’re clearly off shift and showing up to the scene with each other. I love these little details they make my heart so happy.

They’re a packaged deal now and I couldn’t be happier about it. Also like to note looks like Lucy is wearing one of his jackets. Maybe they were at his place when they got the call? The sleeves look long on her and I adore it. Basically living together at this point. I can’t get over it. Just casually showing up to scenes now. Ain’t no thang. This thought is where I live till S6 LOL

Anyways Tim says he heard it was Aaron. Grey confirms this is true. GSW to the back. Looks like the same spot Jackson was shot. Eerily so. Three masked men and they were ambushed. The painful parallels to Jackson’s death in this one getting me in the feels. Grey has them start to work the scene. Lucy looks incredibly upset but is trying to keep it in check. Probably feeling the Jackson vibes too.

Our couple arrives at the hospital with an update. Once again arriving together. I love the quick looks we get as they approach. That silent communication of their's ever present. Also she is wearing the necklace I must comment. It’s popping against that shirt she is wearing. Like to also point out how look at each other while the other speaks. It’s the little things I love so very much. Getting massive 4x01 vibes from this scene too. Reminding me of the scene is Wes's living room night after the hug. The height difference, the way Lucy is looking at Tim as he speaks. United front power couple vibes.

So much can change and things like this stay the same I love it. They’re reporting back their CI’s have nothing. No one has heard back about a gang targeting cops. Lucy has also hit a dead end with the masks. Their next idea was Elijah but Tim says nothing out of prison confirming that. Angela and Wes are working on the riddle. Grey tells them to head home they’re not getting anywhere tonight. Once they've all left Grey turning to Luna saying he can lose another. Ugh getting me in the feels so early in this episode. More Jackson feels.

Lucy and Tim get home late. The minute they’re back Lucy’s walls are down. Tim can see how upset she is. Another great callback to 4x01. To that hug. Only this time Lucy doesn’t have to ask for it. Tim seeks her out. See’s how now that they're home her work walls are down. She is visibly wrecked and can't hold back the tears any longer. I love how he pulls her right into his arms. Being the exact comfort she needs in this moment. He can't stand to see her upset. Wanting to make it better.

Tim grabbing her instantly is so lovely. Lucy crashes into him and falls apart. He gets to comfort as much as she needs now. How very far we’ve come. It’s been a beautiful journey to this point. Lucy is ready to fall apart in her safe place. Knowing Tim will be there pick up the pieces. Shield her from the PTSD this must be bringing up for her. I love how he encases her fully. One hand around her back the other gently cradling her head to his chest.

Tim closing his eyes wanting to absorb her sadness. The swaying and his chin on top of her head. *squee* I love her being fully enclosed in his arms. Also never be over the fact Eric improvised the kiss to her head. Forever squeeing about that fact. Our ship King is the best. Oh captain my captain. How damn intimate and sweet it is as he does as such. Then resting his head back on hers. Telling her ‘It’s ok.’ His hand in her hair rubbing her back soothingly. I cannot. Lucy was alone last time. Grieved alone and dealt with everything solo.

Now she never has to be alone again and I wanna cry at that thought. Getting emotional at how beautiful this hug is. Lovely ray of sunshine in a rather dark finale. I love this scene so much it made my chest hurt. You want to see outstanding chemistry in a short amount of time? Watch this scene. Melissa and Eric are glorious together. We truly are so lucky to have them as our ship. This is such a soft and gentle moment.

Tim pulling her in and wanting to comfort her has me all in my feels. Lucy has this wonderful man to catch her when she falls now. To be able to absolutely come apart in his arms. Knowing he’ll be there to comfort and keep her together when she does. Gah I love them so much. Also A + to whoever does the music. The song in this moment is adding to the emotional depth of the scene. Amazingly good. It’s been so on point in this season. They need a raise whoever does this.

They finally have some suspects to track down. Violent felons that have connection to the station and to them as a group. Lucy offers to check on one by herself. Grey says no and Tim offers to go with her. Because he loves her and wants to keep her in his sights. They’ve all been attacked at this point. Except for him and Lucy. No way he’s letting her go solo. It’s not cause he didn’t trust her to handle herself. He can’t handle her going alone. His instincts on high alert.

Lucy telling Tim he should be out knocking down doors with Metro. Tim tells her 'He’s good'. As good as he can be without letting her out of his sights during this. Only they could so effortlessly flirt while on duty. In the middle of an intense OP. Lucy letting him know she doesn’t need him to protect her. Tim is very aware of this. Says he knows. Lucy turning this moment into some very cute light banter. Saying he is telling her he needs the protecting. Tim being sassy right back with his reply above. God I love them.

Their teasing and banter is iconic. Lucy’s next line is fantastic. I know we haven’t had an official ILY you yet. But they’ve said it so many different ways this season. In moments such as this. When we do officially get it not gonna be a shock to either of them. Tim telling her 'Back at you.' Making me all emotional. They are such a power couple and the next portion of this episode proves that. I’ve always said watching them in the field is poetry in motion. This next battle scene is literal proof of such.

It’s a good thing Tim came with her. I don’t want to think what would’ve happened if she’d been alone. The creepy crowd coming at them. My stomach dropped. First Tim willing to sacrifice himself for her so she could get away. *heart clutch* Man would die for her and not even blink in the decision making process. Lucy of course will not allow this whatsoever. Valiant or not he’s not falling on his sword for her.

We get a nice call back to 1x18. Not only with Lucy saying they need to go to higher ground. Like he taught her in that ep but to show no mercy. Tim instructing they hurt as many as they can and then retreat upstairs. Lucy getting exactly what he’s saying because they’re simpatico. This entire scene shows that. Also LOVE Lucy saying they only stand a chance TOGETHER. Theme of this season right here. They're better together. Damn right.

What a bad ass battle couple we have. Look at this scene. Lucy calling the audibles in this moment and Tim following her play. Repeating it back and saying 'Copy that.' Gah I love this so very much. Tim trusts her gut without question. Not a doubt in his mind to go with it. The amount of respect he has for her in the field is immense. He was going to stay behind she said no. Then Tim instantly followed her lead after that.

Damnit I love them so much. Tim’s instinct is to always protect Lucy. Where her's is to protect them both in this moment. It’s never because he thinks she can’t handle it. Tim just can’t handle the idea of losing her if he doesn’t. Started from the bottom now we're here and I’m emotional. Also the song once again killer during this epic scene.

Love her touching his arm before they engage in battle in that first one. Look at them in the final two above. I know Eric said they had a blast filming this. They are so damn in-sync. It's such an amazing thing to watch them take these people on. Like I've sad many times before poetry in motion when they're in the field. I love getting to watch the well oiled machine that is them. This was that on steroids ha

Eric was so excited for us to watch this scene and I can see why. It so fun to watch. Taking these guys apart together one at a time. I LOVE Lucy taking that guy out and then grabbing his riot shield. Tim is starting to get overwhelmed and she makes work of what's around her. Running towards Tim getting that guy off her man. With a very impressive shove might I add. Sends him flying down the stairs with the others. They have to start retreating up the stairs after this. They are slowly running out of ammo as well. Backup has yet to arrive and they're battling the best they can to stay alive till it does.

Harper and Nolan finally arrive on scene. Nyla tells John to get to them. She is going to get her sniper rifle even the odds a bit. Unfortunately even with higher ground they’re getting ambushed from all sides now. It's now all melee combat at this point without ammo. Tim takes a guy out with pepper spray and gets a guy off his girl.

Who is literally choking the life out of her. Tim dispatches this guy with any remaining rage he has left. Smashing this guy's face into the wall. Making sure he can't get up to get back to her. All the while Harper being a bad ass snipping people left and right for Tim. This scene is epic af. I love it so much. One of my all time field scenes for sure. They did a damn good job with this holy cow.

Then we get an other beautiful parallel from 1x01 to now. When Lucy pulled Tim to safety mid battle. We get to see Tim do the same for her. The way Tim scoops Lucy up and carries her to safety. I’m not crying you are.... Power couple since day one they just didn’t know it yet. The way he picks her up and then shields her with his body. Gah it’s so good.

When the door opens Tim is worried it’s another bad guy. He shields Lucy with his body. Ready to take a hit to keep her protected. Not willing to let them get at her again. I’m sobbing everyone. The instinct to always protect one another. I’m drowning in feels over here in the best way. Nolan ushers them to safety. Never been happier to see John Nolan in my life LOL

They make it to the stairway battered and bruised. Gasping for air as they try to recover from what just happened. Let’s look at the no space between them when they land on the stairs. Tim reaching out for her instantly. Placing his hand on her thigh checking on her. TWICE might I add. He touches her twice there. While checking around to make sure they’re truly safe. Lucy reaches out for his hand on the first touch. Also their heads touching as well in that first gif. Gah this mini moment has so much to it.

Tim is grounding himself in this moment through those touches. Making sure Lucy is breathing and he can stand down to catch his own breath. Such an intimate moment after an incredibly intense battle. He almost lost her so he is reaching out and making sure she’s ok. He also needs to touch her to settle himself. It was to tell her we’re ok now’s and to confirm to himself she was as well. Damnit it's so good. Don't tell me one of Tim’s biggest love languages isn’t physical touch. It for sure is.

Our last shot of the season for them. Just a BAMF couple post battle. Height difference that I love so much. The check in’s they do walking away knowing this could've been so much worse. Battle worn and bruised. These shots always hit harder knowing they’re together. I would like to think they would fuss over each other's wounds at the hospital. Or at home. We shall see what S6 brings for that if anything regarding it. If not sure someone will write a fic. LOL

The lack of personal space as they walk from the scene always floors me. As close they can possibly be at the moment. Sure Tim is thanking his lucky stars he came with her. I don’t wanna imagine what would’ve happened had he not. Or what Tim would’ve done had something happened. They looks so exhausted they’ve earned a good snuggle and some alone time. Sadly they're still in the middle of case so that's a no go.

Look at our power couple everyone. They're ours. We get to have them. And have a season to look forward to. I was so nervous about the season ending. Knowing this strike could last a long time and it did. Luckily we are coming out of it. Light is at the end of the tunnel. Looking forward to S6 and all the squeeing to come with it.

~~~~

Side notes non-Chenford

This episode one giant stress. One of them being when they try and take Harper’s daughter. The panic in my soul for her. My goodness this finale was great.

All of Celina's scene with Aaron pulling at my feels as well.

Thank you everyone once again who supported these reviews. They started out as a way to fill time between S5 and S6. Became a truly fun hobby for me. Kinda sad the ride is over but like I said at the beginning I’ll do mini reviews each week for s6 won’t be rid of that easily ❤️❤️ Can’t wait to delve in S6 with you all :)

[xoxiu]

twinkle - ot7 x reader

chapter 10 table of contents masterlist

taglist

discord

summary: she had just wanted attention, that’s why she kept texting the strange number, updating him on everything in her life. little did she know how dangerous this relationship actually was. it had been jimin’s idea to kidnap the girl, but the ability to travel across the world to actually do it had been all hoseok’s doing. convenient how some things work, right? they knew that they were destined to have their baby with them, whether she wanted it or not.

tags/warnings: kidnapping, forced age regression, spanking, noncon, mafia au, drug use, stockholm syndrome, caregiver!bts, little!reader, nonsexual, diapers, panic attacks, fluff and angst, sickfic, referenced child abuse, unrequited love

Ophelia had been an angel while Hoseok fed her the fruit; she didn't put up a fuss when he placed her on his lap nor when he chose to feed her himself. She did get slightly annoyed at Hoseok when he missed a beat in feeding her to check his phone, furrowing her brows and trying to grab a melon piece herself. Her mittens didn't allow her to grasp a single chunk, but by then Hoseok realized what she wanted and put the fruit to her mouth with a small apology.

One by one the others began getting ready to leave. It would be Hoseok and Jin alone with Ophelia today, but Jin planned on doing a little bit of shopping, leaving Ophelia in Hoseok's more than capable hands. As each person left, Hoseok gently encouraged the girl to say 'bye-bye,' resulting in an unenthusiastic hum from Ophelia. It wasn't exactly what Hoseok wanted, but he considered the small sound of acknowledgment progress no matter how small. 

"Well don't you look comfortable," Jin cooed at Ophelia, who currently was curled up in the large recliner with Hoseok. He placed a soft kiss to her forehead that Ophelia gave her signature glare at. "Remember to give her a bottle before she goes down for a nap. Maybe in like an hour or so?" Jin reminded Hoseok.

"I know, I know," Hoseok replied with a smile. "Say bye-bye to Eomma, Lia!"

"Bye," Ophelia responded, annoyance rising in her voice. The simple response still brought a huge smile to both caregivers.

"Bye, baby!" Jin placed one more kiss to Ophelia's cheek, causing her to recoil at the touch, "Be good for Hoseokie!"

Once Jin left out the front door, Ophelia immediately wanted nothing to do with Hoseok and tried to slide off his lap. The unwanted attention from Jin ruined her peaceful and relaxed mood. Hoseok's strong arm held her in place.

"What's wrong?" Hoseok asked. A moment ago Ophelia was content sitting on his lap, and why she was suddenly fussing confused Hoseok. 

"Let me go," Ophelia hissed, pushing back on Hoseok's chest to get away. Hoseok didn't give in, instead moving Ophelia around they were face-to-face with Ophelia straddling his lap. This only upset Ophelia further, now kicking her feet and squirming around in a full tantrum.

"Lia, why are you upset?" Hoseok tried to grab her chin to get her to look at him, but a mitten-clad hand swatted his own away. "You have to talk to me, love." The fussing increased until Hoseok deemed it too much, wanting to end the tantrum immediately. He took a firm hold on Ophelia's chin, forcing their eyes to meet, Ophelia's murderous gaze meeting his own stern one. 

"That is enough, Ophelia." Using her full name acted as a trigger to Ophelia; the girl became so used to being called 'Lia' or any other pet name by the men that hearing 'Ophelia' almost threw her off-guard. The name was only used when she was in trouble, forcing her to fear whenever it was used.

The girl froze for a moment, and Hoseok used that to his advantage before she fired back up again. "You need to calm down and tell me what's wrong otherwise I can't fix it, sweetie." Ophelia's face slowly scrunched in anger, and before Hoseok could securely hold her she pushed herself backward and off Hoseok's lap. Obviously, Ophelia anticipated Hoseok's embrace seeing as she simply pushed herself onto the ground.

"Lia!" Hoseok scolded, "Do you know how dangerous that was? Your head is only centimeters away from the coffee table!" Ophelia's eyes grew twice their normal size out of shock and fear- she never heard Hoseok raise his voice at her before and honestly, it was terrifying. Hoseok grabbed her arm and pulled her off the ground before she even thought of running off. Three swift swats were delivered to her bottom, Ophelia biting back her angry screams with a whimper. He continued walking her over to a corner in the living room, his grip on her arm still painfully tight. 

"Ten minutes in time-out and then you're going down for an early nap, little one." Hoseok gave her one more swat before leaving her to serve her punishment. He sat down on the couch to watch Ophelia from the corner of his eye to make sure she stays in place. 

The time-out only caused Ophelia's anger to grow, eventually causing her to literally shake with rage. Once she saw red, there was no turning back. She turned around to release her anger at the only other person in the room.

"Could you just fuck off?" She screamed, causing Hoseok to raise an eyebrow. "This entire fucking game is getting old! I don't want anything to do with you sick fucks!" 

Hoseok remained surprisingly calm, though the same anger settled in his veins. "Ophelia, turn back around."

"No!" She yelled, taking a step away from the corner. Everything felt hot, her heart was beating a mile a minute, and Ophelia's head was fuzzier than ever. Nothing felt real- Ophelia was just a spectator in her own actions.

"You have until the count of three, baby. Get back in the corner." Ophelia crossed her arms in defiance, glaring daggers at the man across the room.

"One..." Ophelia took another daring step away.

"Two..." Hoseok thought it was cute how the girl probably thought she looked tough and menacing, but the childish pout on her face gave away her horrible acting. A defiant child throwing a tantrum because she couldn't get her way- that's exactly what she was.

"Three." Hoseok stood up, and immediately Ophelia made a run for the stairs. Unfortunately for her, that involved running past Hoseok, who scooped her up once she was in arms' reach. Hoseok threw the kicking and screaming girl over his shoulder until he entered the kitchen and placed her in her highchair, allowing her to wear herself out with her tantrum while he made her bottle. By the time everything had been added to the milk, Ophelia had calmed down enough to just soft crying.

It was precious how she often got angry to the point of tears.

"Are you done?" Hoseok asked coldly, not wanting Ophelia to think her tantrum had been forgiven just yet. Ophelia slammed her head onto the tray of the highchair, covering her head with her arms. She gave her last petulant kick as Hoseok lifted her out of the highchair, placing her on his hip. He put the bottle to Ophelia's lips and fed her as he walked to the nursery. He laid her in the crib, placing the bottle next to her so she could feed herself. 

"You earned yourself an early nap, baby," Hoseok placed a kiss to Ophelia's forehead, a small show of love alongside his scolding voice. "Daddy's not going to be happy once he hears about your little tantrum."

And the tears and screams started up again. 

Watching Ophelia's tantrum from the baby monitor intrigued Hoseok. She attempted to climb out of the crib, only to realize that the bars were slightly raised after her last escape stunt. After shaking the bars with a loud scream, Ophelia plopped herself back down and continued to wail. Her crying went on for a good hour until she eventually laid down to take her nap. What really shocked Hoseok is how she fed herself her bottle in an attempt to soothe herself before she fell asleep- something he never thought she'd do considering how often she fought being little.

Usually, Ophelia's morning nap lasted a half hour to forty minutes at most- her afternoon nap was much longer. Hoseok reasoned that because Ophelia was obviously overtired, a longer nap was necessary. Waking her up any earlier may just lead to a continuation of her tantrum. 

Noon approached and Hoseok woke Ophelia up for lunch. She was out like a light when he entered the nursery, and stayed in her sleepy state as he set her down on the changing table. She used her diaper while she napped; it was a common occurrence and partially why they wanted to change her diaper while she was still half asleep. The one time she woke up and discovered she used her diaper overnight was not a fun experience for anyone. 

Hoseok changed her diaper, but something caught his eye- a small patch of blood on the diaper. Hoseok felt his heart race with anxiety- the drugs in Ophelia's milk stopped menstruation entirely, so that wasn't it. After carefully cleaning the girl more, he discovered more dark red around...

Hoseok didn't know what to do. It looked painful and uncomfortable for his poor baby- was that why she was so fussy today? Because she was in pain? He quickly threw away the dirty diaper and changed Ophelia into a longer shirt, sans diaper. Very carefully, he picked the girl back up who started fussing at the sudden movements. Hoseok didn't care, too focused on taking her to Jin because he didn't know what was wrong, nor did he want to deal with it alone.

Maybe Yoongi could wait to find out about Ophelia's little tantrum. 

[deadweight-at7am]

Soooo it's looking like I maybe should move on at my job. I've been here 5 years and I'm starting to really feel resentment and feel used. I've proven myself more than capable in every area but they refuse to give me a manager salary and treat me like I'm nobody.

Some higher level decisions have negatively affected me and I'm pretty much over the idea of having to take the brunt of someone else's poor decision making skills. A team member left in January and they didn't replace her. Instead the decision was to let a person who was doing part of the job she did, do the entire thing. He took on that work and is now a one-man show. I think he actually likes it this way. Either way, whether he loves it or loathes it, my bosses decided without ASKING ME that the person who is covering for him when he's out is me. Why? Oh, looks like I'm the only competent person who has been cross-trained and does the job without a mountain of errors. We don't work in the same department. I just happen to know how to do his job. My job is completely separate to his and on a daily basis we do DIFFERENT WORK. He's not in my department, he's not trained on my job, etc.

I put in for PTO for 3 days during my kids' Spring Break last Friday along with a request for July. Spring Break is the end of March. I'm putting in for it a month in advance. I also put in for my vacation at the beach. I got a call from my boss saying "your request for July is fine but there is going to be a problem with March". I immediately started to get angry. She tells me that Dude took off for an entire week at the end of March, his PTO overlaps and they can't do both. I literally waited a good 5 seconds to reply and said "what does his PTO have to do with me? He's not in my department." She then starts stumbling over her words to explain how it somehow is MY problem and I said "Boss, this has never been an issue in the past." She's like "yeah this is an issue now though because Team Mate left." I am staring at my phone screen with this look of pure disgust because I know she's trying to brow beat me into backing down and saying I'm not going to take those days off. So, I tell her really matter-of-factly "well this is why I told everyone we needed to be included in conversations in people's PTO if I'm expected to cover for them and I never was, so I'm going out of town. It's not going to be possible for me to cancel this vacation." She gets really defensive and says something STUPID about how "we don't announce the entire company's PTO requests" and I cut her off and said "I never once said that I needed to know EVERYONE'S requests, I said I needed to be included in any that INVOLVE ME". She gets silent and goes "Well, I mean, if you can't cancel plans we'll need to work out a coverage schedule" and I just sat there like "yeah, guess you do, don't you?" I don't know why she didn't expect me to stand on business, because that's who I am. I'm not going to be intimidated into not taking deserved vacation time because they decided, without consulting me, that I am the fill-in for Dude. I have done it in the past, but did not agree to anything like this since his team mate left. I even said one day "that's not tenable because we need two people for coverage when someone leaves on vacation".

We have a meeting at 11am which will be VERY interesting, I'm sure. Can't wait to hear some drivel about "updated PTO request guidelines" that were borne of this very stupid situation.

[asksoldieron]

SO-12: The Spirit of Harpo Marx

If there's a lot of engagement on this, this post is liable to get real long, beware before you expand.

Welcome to the Engagement Lounge, for Alight at the Window (SO-12) an instalment! Short comments can go in the replies, but there's a 475 character limit. Longer ones will need a reblog. Remember to @asksoldieron if you're reblogging someone else's reblog, so I can see it too!

Awwwwww, ya know? Awwwwww ❤️!

Poor Erik is in ⚡🔋no shape🔋⚡ to communicate, but he's doing his best. Maggie has no idea whether he's messing with her on purpose, or what's wrong with him, but she won't let him go. They'll get to him eventually. (I've just finished that part, actually. They've got him! Uh. Sorta. At least he's... safe now? 😅Oh, I can't say that with a straight face.)

This is the last of my queued posts/instalments, and I have no idea where my reading and drawing ability will be when it goes live. If I can't update you on my condition (and the condition of the next six instalments) I'll hafta have the spouse type a note for me. I want to do six more right away, or I might take a two week break, or - if I'm really struggling - it'll be a break of indeterminate length. I hope I'll be okay to just keep going, my Patrons have been so patient this year. Thanks, y'all.

But, either way, there will be a break at some point, because I'll have a while where I can't write or draw and that's going to eat up my backlog. Also, recent updates have done more stupid things to my theme and I think the site needs a redesign - maybe including some radical simplification. I'm just not mobile friendly and I can't make the current format behave. People with better eyesight than me do a lot of reading on their phones.

I have no idea how to build a community and I'm flailing, really, but maybe if I can get the interface more convenient, more people will like me? (I have no idea. Probably they won't.)

Look, though! You've got some extra art to tide you over! And a song!

I'm not in love with how Erik's design looks right now - he looks like a train wreck, but he should look like a train wreck. Nobody is going to fix his hair. I still feel self-conscious about it. He used to be cute. I've got to do a full-body rendering of how he'll clean up, but I don't have time for it now.

However, I did do a page of something trying to get comfortable with his ability to emote in train reck form. I don't have time to finish it, but I think it looks cool so I'm sharing.

This is potentially a way for me to serve you the music without lyric backgrounds that you can't read! It's very labour-intensive, but I was figuring out how to do it and it might get a little easier with practice. Also, my current tablet is struggling with the resolution and I plan to update it by the end of the year - depending on sale prices.

After I saw Hedwig and the Angry Inch, I found out the original Off-Broadway incarnation had filked music with lyrics by John Cameron Mitchell. 🥹😊I'm calling it! This is something other people sharing my identity do to tell their stories! Filk musicals are an enby thing! We do not give a shit about the music industry's copyrights! I'm performing nonbinary correctly!

So here's the lyrics again, and maybe I'll give you the rest in comic form as my vision and my tools improve.

You Are Found! (based on "We Are Young" by fun.) I need a minute, I… I don’t know if I’m ready yet I’m tryin’ to get my shit together, Maggie, please don’t be upset My family must be looking for me somewhere very near Guess I knew you must be coming but I can’t believe you’re here, and… It’s been forever since I’ve seen your face I know you want to take me home But although it hurts to do this work they need my help for what it’s worth —  Oh, gods I’m not sure if I wanna go So maybe if, next time you see me, You can take me by the hand, You’ll steal me away At last I am found So I guess the party’s over Time to get sober, and come down At last I am found So I guess the party’s over Time to get sober, and come down No, I wanna go home I’m just not done I guess that I, I just hoped We could visit and I’d get right back to work But I can’t go yet So I must forget 'Cause I think you’ll hafta steal me away At last I am found So I guess the party’s over Time to get sober, and come down At last I am found So I guess the party’s over Time to get sober, and come down Steal me away at last (na na na na na na) Come steal me away at last (na na na na na na) Steal me away at last (na na na na na na) Come steal me away at last (na na na na na na) The gods have their own plan (na na na na na na) But I’m just one weary man (na na na na na na) So you're gonna hafta steal me away at last (na na na na na na) I have so much to do (na na na na na na) How can I go with you? (na na na na na na) So you're gonna hafta steal me away (na na na na na na) At last I am found So I guess the party’s over Time to get sober, and come down At last I am found So I guess the party’s over Time to get sober, and come down So maybe if, next time you see me, You can take me by the hand You’ll steal me away at last

See you soon! Ha, I hope!

Late edit: Two week break, folks. No drawing ability yet, so we're stuck with it. I still hope to get you the next six by the end of the year. I'll keep you posted!

[Back to Site?]

[aticklishpercivalwriter]

Update from Perz!

The quick version: This boy is tired and needs time to recover. Midterms were awful, but the worst of them are done.

Full version: Sorry for no updates. I'm just so drained this week. Statics mentally drained me. I had to end 5 minutes early because I "cheated" since my calculator has the capability to connect to the Internet. I would've gotten an F for the exam, but she's letting it slide as a warning. But my credibility with my prof is shot and any leniency is probably going to be pretty hard to get back. Ugh.

Also, my productivity seems to go down the drain if stuff like midterms come up. I procrastinate which I know is bad, but idk how to get out of it. Any tips you people have?

Last thing, I'm loosing an hour of sleep once the clock strikes 12am. Officially happened 😭. Daylight savings time in the States 😓.

About writing, I'm currently working on a fic. Pairing are lers Hei and Kazu and lees Ae and GamGam. Nicknames for Heizou, Kazuha, Aether, and Gaming respectively. A tickle chase!*

I'll get back to messages and any requests when I feel more in the mood. It's just a lot of priorities. My job interview is coming up this Friday too. Hopefully I can get the summer job 🤞

I hope you all are doing great wherever you are! Happy tickling :)

*More serious things about me below. No need to read if you don't wanna.

*Idk if I should say this. I decided to post it. This was written when I was very sleepy so just know that. Seems like my emotions come out during that time:

I hope you all like the tickling parts in my fics. Ngl, when I read other fics, I feel a bit inferior since a lot of you are very talented in describing scenarios, how the ler tickles the lee, a lee's reactions, and it doesn't feel repetitive and is unique. I tend to overthink and believe that my work isn't that good and I kind of can't bear to work because my brain is mean and tells me that my work isn't going to satisfy you, the readers, even though I get likes, reblogs and nice, encouraging comments, thank you btw ♥️. I usually fall short compared to other people no matter how hard I try. Though, your comments, likes, and reblogs ease my thoughts and bring me more confidence in my work. I just put high expectations on myself, so that's why I spend so long on things to try and make it perfect whether in school or my writing or just anything personal really. Maybe I should cut myself some slack since I'm brand new to the scene? I will not stop writing though because it's a chance for me to express myself and something to indulge in. But yeah, a little something to know about me.

[finnlongman]

One of my WIPs is very similar to this, albeit more focused on the medieval past than the ancient one and with researchers and sources living side-by-side in an established way rather than, like, a unique discovery of an ancient being!

My "Paranormal Postgrads" series features grad students + paranormal beings and it's about as nerdy as you might expect. The first book features an underfunded PhD student working on late medieval and early modern Irish literature who realises that his housemate is a vampire from fifteenth century Ireland, and promptly attempts to make a deal with him whereby he's extremely happy to get his blood sucked if his housemate will translate some early modern Irish for him so he doesn't have to do it.* And, to be honest, even if he won't, because he's kind of into that. Vampires are an established part of the setting, but the protagonist grew up in one of the few human-only towns left in the UK, so he's a little clueless -- that's his excuse for why he didn't notice his housemate was a vampire. Not the fact that he's a wildly nocturnal disaster and thus saw nothing unusual about his housemate's schedule.

*All my followers noticing my translation updates lately... yes, okay, there's some wish-fulfillment going on here. Though I originally wrote this book before I applied to do a PhD, at a time when I thought I wasn't going to do one. I gave Peter my research topic and so when I came to actually apply, had to slightly revise my proposal because a fictional character got there first. These are problems only I would have.

The second book focuses on his best friend, Ciara, who is an Old Norse specialist and does what she calls "applied monster theory", which is to say, she fights monsters and then writes academic articles about why the methods in sagas don't work and what that tells us about their authorship. Mostly, that their authors never fought a troll with a partially assembled IKEA shelf, because if they had, they'd have given her better instructions. This monster-hunting sideline is what brings her in contact with an archaeologist specialising in Roman Britain, who has made a rather unexpected discovery in York. Jorvik, not Eboracum, hence the need for an Old Norse specialist.

Book two sprouted a whole lot more worldbuilding than it was meant to, including a lot of in-universe academia and discussions of the ethics and technical requirements of testimony from ghosts and whether you should try to negotiate with revenants, so my plan is to integrate more of that into book 1 when I do rewrites to even them out a little.

As well as being exceptionally nerdy, they are also romance novels -- book 1 is m/m between human and vampire; book 2 is f/f between two humans but one of them fights monsters and the other might possibly have magic powers that she definitely shouldn't have. There will also be a third book but I haven't written it yet.

As evident from my references to editing, these are not published yet, or contracted, and I can't make any promises regarding when that will change because I do have a lot of other projects on my plate (i.e. editing/releasing three books while doing a full-time PhD). But my agent just read book 2 and we're having a meeting about it tomorrow. So, there's a solid chance one day it will go somewhere.

Hello Urban Fantasy Tumblr!

I have a mighty need to read something that has this idea in it. Hopefully it exists already; if not, hopefully one of you kind souls will oblige.

Hear me out: Anthropology in urban fantasy

You have a vampire/werewolf/fae who is from an ancient culture. Maybe from a culture that is still extant, maybe from one that is extinct. And now you have the most coveted of all things to study: A PRIMARY SOURCE WHO CAN ANSWER QUESTIONS.

I think those academics would absolutely cum in their pants if they suddenly were able to ask about the Greek dark ages, or find out where Push was. Or really, knowing academics, what did you eat!? Where did you live? How did you do your hair? How many dishes did you own? LITERALLY ANY INFORMATION YOU CAN GIVE ME WILL SPAWN A NEW FIELD OF STUDY, PLEASE TELL ME ANYTHING.

So yes. I have a mighty need. Please tell me if this exists.

Tagging @thebibliosphere because if Joy reblogs this I have a great chance of finding something or maybe even her getting a plot bunny and writing it herself

[sweetish-original-story]

Chapter 19

Tap tap tap tap. Tap tap. Tap tap tap tap-

"Uuuuhhh GOD, PLEASE take me away from thiiiis..." Sammy groaned as she nearly slumped over her computer desk. Of course, she couldn't because she was fully hooked in, visor and all. The smelly old thing COULD have been upgraded months ago, but the new parts are made with so much lower quality that it would risk all 3,000 terabytes of work (and 17,000 terabytes of high quality anime, some being so rare and old the characters depicted still had functioning gills, scales, and PROFOUNDLY bigoted facial features). No, she couldn't risk getting it updated now. She would just have to wait for a full replacement and move the data from one to the other.

That day couldn't come faster.

She had to do the mind-numbing work of editing celebrity photos this week because of their current collaboration with DNA Wholefillers and their plus-size summer cataloge coming out soon. She absolutely HATED working with these people. They brag about having such a wide variety of fits for everyone, but everything is made so fast and so poorly that its just sad to watch people be willing to put such slop on themselves. None of their designs looked good. They weren't unique, and if you ever complained about the quality, they would just try to sell you something else instead of fixing the issue.

This dress looks distressed, even in the photos they sent her, and she had to go about trying to make it look somewhat presentable. She ordered an outfit from them once just to see if the rumors were true, and she could have sworn they just tried to cover up a blood stain with an extra pocket. Which is really bad to see on a pair of brand new underwear. She'd join the boycott against them, but her mother doesn't seem to care what she had to say about them.

Tap tap tap. Sliiiide tap tap. Tap taptap tap.

"It was probably a fluke in the production, hon. I don't know why you felt the need to buy such a thing anyway. You're better than, ew, this thing." her moms voice crept into her mind like a quiet whisper."Poor people can't afford Bandaids, sweetie, that's why go to these galas, thays why we do this! Now put on some perfume like a lady and let's go." Ugh. Gross. Thinking about that memory made her feel gross in a way she couldn't describe. It's not weird for some dyes to get mixed up in production. Its not weird for a teenager to want to wear what her freinds are wearing, even if the most expensive thing they have to offer costs half the amount of pocket change you tend to carry when you go for a drive. The poorest person she knew really DID have trouble affording band aids when they first met. What was it about that memory that felt icky?

"Okay, almost finished..." she carefully dragged her fingers over the hologram to raise the heavy burlap fabric she was working on to make it seem more flowy and soft. As if burlap sack could ever be as soft and airy as a chiffon chemise. Disgusting. She just wants to watch sone frickin cartoons.

Sliiide.

She kept from complaining, though, she WANTED this job, after all. Maybe she should treat herself after this. Maybe she should buy herself a new dress. One WORTH buying. She'll never wear it, of course, among all the others sitting in her closet, but she felt it was nice to see that side of herself from time to time. The more Sammy thought about the dress, the more unfocused she became. She started thinking about her belly. Her hips and thighs. They've grown, but she can't tell whether her mom had noticed her new size. She couldn't let her mom find out she'd been getting bigger, or else she'd immediately make her start drinking that horrible tea and rabbit food again. A small plate of plain uncooked vegetables should NOT count as a meal. Why do the maids let her get away with this?

Click.

Saved. Copied. Sent. Freedom. And it couldn't come any sooner. She lifted her visor and took a look outside. It was approaching noon. She leaned back in her chair and reached as high up to the ceiling as she could, releasing so much tention from her body that her whole being unintentionally quaked as if she was in an earthquake, before gently releasing all the pain and ache she had been feeling from her workout.

She then saved her work once more (for good mesure) and closed the window before opening her files and turning on Hair Piece to decompress. She has already watched this episode, but she was looking for details to make fun of alongside her many online friends.

[firespirited]

Aside from looking and feeling drained, I've had a nice week.

Still enjoying chilling with Stargate Atlantis even listened to a couple of episode commentaries (the writers have early aughts typical broey vibes though so that's off-putting).

Found a pair of shoes to wear this late autumn as my "vintage" vans mannaz fell apart. After I'd talked about the difficulty of finding shoes that fit me and how many I'd tried that didn't work out, Mum dug up a pair of hiking boots she'd forgotten to send back to dad and said he'd always had the same problem: wide feet with height just behind the toe area as the arch starts. Apparently getting work shoes for his teacher job that didn't hurt was quite a quest. They fit great except for the length so I went online, found the same brand "Queshua" and looked at their hiking shoes of the updated but same series/range. Ordered a male and female model in my size. Only the "guy" shoes fit and they don't have any spring in them like sports shoes do but sports shoes often end up too narrow. I can't risk buying them without going to a physical shop or doing a dozen returns. Queshua from decathlon have a free return from your post box and refund policy. Fantastic.

So basically, I'm elated to have been able to toss out the vans and stick the pastel gradient laces into my new all terrain, waterproof trainers. I'm going to look at their winter models for colder weather. It's reassuring to know there is a brand that tends to fit. I'm hoping to try the thrift store on the outskirts of town one day when the carer isn't too busy but that could be a while (why thrift? Because I generally don't fully know a shoe's problems before I've 'road tested' them) .

I also tried crochet again (every few years I try to knit or crochet from tutorials and it hasn't gone great, you all know I can't think in 3D, so like for the keyboard, it has to be muscle memory and mnemonics) This time I had two different youtube tutorials on half speed and could sort of 'get it' but for the life of me could not properly hold the yarn in the left hand. Mum was around so I sheepishly asked what I was doing wrong. Her first answer was "well have you practiced?" 🙄 (she forgets I'm not the 7 year old who gives up as soon as the dopamine runs out or gets distracted by shiny - i mean i am but I've learned to go back to practicing even if I have to make myself angry or use bribes and limits.) I dutifully produced my series of messed up lines and sat down to show her and she went "oh OK! you're doing it wrong, Here's how auntie Grace taught me" and wrapped the yarn around my little finger, using the middle finger as the main yarn holder and index+thumb to pinch the crochet. Then I had to leave because she kept telling me to "relax my shoulders relax your hands RELAX", I love her but I do not control the muscles when trying to practice a new hard (for me) skill for an audience.

That hands on tip was what made it actually 'take' this time even though I might end up using the ring finger instead. I haven't had much time to practice and made quite a mess of my first attempts at rows with a 3 ply yarn.

Today I was able to proudly show off a 5*30 stitch parallelogram (still haven't got the tension down) of thin cord, it took three tries... but not bad. I'm really hoping I'll be able to grok some more stitches and have something to keep the hands busy that's less taxing on my shoulder. I also need to ask her about auntie Grace, she's probably part of the deaf adult community mum grew up in.

Slowly working towards listing more dolls. You get stuck on junk decisions about whether to bundle, whether to dress them or one of the photos is too blurry and the whole thing stops because there's a missing step or piece. Plan derailed.

I've got incoming which helps with motivation: Elle eedee!!! I didn't click with her the first time then really missed her but now I know how I want to do her eyes. Twilight teens grey for Nicole Steel head (aliexpress 11.11 sales $5) and white.

A Catrine and pink haired Howleen. Catrine is a design I just love and was always put off by the yellowing. Now that I know more about straight peroxide bleaching, I really want another try. I also want to see what happens to that lilac turned grey hair and if it fries or just turns lighter grey, she'll be bald. Their cleaning will be top priority in general but not top on the project list as I have Barbie Marnie who needs just a few more lines of hair to be perfect, a 1/6th BJD to string (need to practice rotary tool sanding and buffing on a damaged barbie before I touch her resin) and probably switching out Jewel Richie's eyes, they're beautiful with the green shimmer details but the visible bevel on the 'baddie' eyes makes them hard to photograph and distracts from looking like a cohesive face. Oooh I might try a line of black acrylic paint first to see if that fixes the issue.

Voilà, big blurb. Not many photos they're all on the desktop. The dogs are happy and well, Lily is a bouncy frolicking 15yo, Talia is learning to be less afraid of the big world and other dogs specifically Gargouille and Elliot.

Talia also threw up in almost every room in the house today, with for her grand finale some raw hide bone she swallowed whole to concentrate on hoarding the other two from Lily. Chihuahuas either have Tardis stomachs or they are mostly stomach because the dimensions of all that came up don't make sense.

Highlights were sharing popcorn with sis and mum on Sunday just chitchatting. Long hot bath to warm legs cold from the inside out. Stunning sights as the sun comes out from behind the mountains:

[cryptid-killjoy]

Delta was projecting. She was judging herself for giving a shit at all when logic told her she shouldn't. Frank was right. Thus was the burden of family. At least she had a partner who could follow whether he was in alignment or not. She needed understanding on this one while she wasn't understanding herself.

Delta did enjoy that tower the weasel made. It came in handy. It became one of her favorite rooms. Frank seemed so himself there. She liked that. So free.

Silas tilted his head like a curious dog at the word Splatterpunk. "Am I supposed to know what that is? Sounds festive."

But what kind of art did he usually make? "The intricate kind. Delicate."

Those were his words, but his thoughts would flash visions of pieces of his own work inspired by his father. Moments of his surgeon father teaching him anatomy in the most sterile of environments, IV's dripping, monitors beeping, large blue prints on a table of the stages of procedures to fully form insane body modifications that no state would ever approve. Implants, disfurments, to full amputations and reattachements elsewhere, inside organs made to be visible on the outside of the body, and still manage to sustain life. Chernabog and his son kept these people on display like living surreal art in their home or as long as they survived until the next art installation. They'd be integrated into backgrounds and other sculptures to create whole scenes. It was for VIP eyes only. This was why Delta said to not mess up his surgical hands. It was her only request. She didn't know for sure of Silas's work, but she knew her Uncle Jenner's.

"Surrealism with corpses. I like the sound of that." He imagined Frank had fine tastes by first impression. He was also taking it quite literally. He wasn't picturing paintings.

A team. "Oh, I see." Silas couldn't help but see that image and parallel it to his life. "Like when father and I callaborate."

Silas put up some fuss when he realized he was going to be left alone, far more about being alone than being hung. He was treating that act like a game. The body bag however was a nice touch. He couldn't help but ask, "This isn't one of those Walmart body bags is it? You spring for the good stuff right? And what it with the hideous yellow of Walmart's bags? Are they trying to ruin great art?" Clearly Silas had been affected by Walmart body bags in the past. "I really should have known buying body bags from Walmart was a bad idea. Coffins however, pretty good deals."

He respected the team concept. He mostly just didn't want to be left alone. Frank would get the sound of his prisoner's screams till the moment he was far enough away because Silas thought something was going to happen now. He'd also spent so much time alone in the forests. He was enjoying the company for a change. He wanted to hear more about exquisite corpses.

"Come on! You can't just drop that and walk away! Come back!" He'd yell, but Frank did not come back. "Tell me more! Please! Don't leave me alone after that! Come on man!"

Frank went to find Delta. Delta had been watching the party, getting updates from her fae, and watching the ones that left from the rooftop. That's where where Frank would eventually find her. She had watched King Triton's ship be sailed away by Babyface and Ellie.

It was difficult to settle all her thoughts on Silas and Chernabog with so much going on, but no one promised that guy she was getting back to him tonight. She'd get back to him in her own damn due time. The moment she saw Frank she walked out to the roof to greet him. It would always be her favorite spot in the castle. The place he jumped after her was the most romantic space in all of Heaven, Hell, and Earth. No matter how many times she runs to Christmas Town to get away from things this spot is better. Hell only wins because it's a place he risked going when he jumped and they owned that damn place, but that jump zone was the unknown. All he knew was going after her no matter the consequences. She could sit on the edge of that roof and feel the wind in her hair for hours and feel complete peace. So that's where she wanted to be.

Seeing his image in this space while she was feeling unsettled inside was needed. She was still dressed to the nines for the party, holding the trident/staff. She went up to him and held him around the middle which only landed mid belly due to height differences. Her whole person was practually the length of one of his legs. Then she looked out at the white water trail the ship was leaving behind and pointed at it with her tri-staff. "Can you sense them that far? Where do they think they're going?" Delta, an actual fisherman's daughter, unlike the two who rushed out to seas's first thought wasn't about the theivery, "I haven't fueled those ships up since we lived here."

"Fools."

Maybe she got a few things from her mother after all.

-

Willem really thought Figaro would give a silly send off of some sort for a polite you do you type of thing. He did, he saw all the fun and all the ghost friends he could be mingling with. But, everyone's return didn't have the same effect on him it had on the others. He didn't have the same attachments. If he would have seen Medusa's daughter/ward, maybe. But, she was hardly going to show up to this castle if she walked the earth tonight. She'd go visit her mother. If Taryn was walking around Feral it was probably in her old trailer park, certainly not this castle where everyone hated her. His mother maybe? Why in the world would Tinker Bell be in this castle even if did come back for a night? Old ship mates he'd seen walk the plank? Nah. They wouldn't come here. In his mind there wasn't a soul he cared for that would come to this castle. Seeing everyone else reunite put him in a weird head space. Of course he'd long for the one thing left he could reach from his past with any emotional attachment with Livvy's dolls.

Then low and behold. Blow him down. Shiver his damn timbers.

He saw Geppetto and sank to his knees. His hands covered his face. He was smiling. He was laughing. He was crying. It would take a minute for Willem to compose on that one, but it was finally someone that evoked a serious emotional response out of him. He managed to stand up and his face started to glow in ways it hadn't since his apprenticeship days. Master and pupil back together again.

"Sir!" He ran up. "I'm not going anywhere. Not yet. Not now. But I will take care of those dolls later on." After Geppetto. Yeah. After Geppetto. Then he started rambling like the student he always was only over excited to fit way too much in after too much time past. "I made my own dolls since you were gone all by myself. I have a client with a whole family of dolls that trusts me. I've been keeping your orders filled. I've respectfully informed all your clientele when an order has come in that I'm here in your stead. Several have trusted me to complete their orders. There's some that are so used to you they haven't decided yet. I always tell them that's understandable. You were the best, but I was taught by the best and I can only hope to live up to their expectations."

He spoke so fast and it was a lot at once. He had been trying so hard. His heart was rapid fire.

"I love your sweater. I wear it all the time. Figaro lets me wear it."

Once he got all that out he finally let out a normal breath. "I miss you. Hansel misses you."

Then he looked at Figaro. "How are you standing there right now like a normal person? I can barely function over this."

“Is it?” Frank said, as the boy brought up the obvious. They were probably all around the same age, but there was something just so juvenile about this guy, it really made him think that he was a stupid fucking kid. “Then I should hit it harder next time.”

It was a wonder this guy was able to go on for this long without being murdered. Perhaps it was Chernabog’s protection from the other side, but Frank could not imagine how anyone, not even Oogie fuckin’ Boogie, could put up with this sort of whininess for very long. He could feel the erosion at his patience. It was going to be real bad for Silas if he kept it up. Neither Delta nor himself had long fuses.

He was serious about not judging her. Everyone else in the world, fucking right, they were laid bare to him. He knew their thoughts, he could judge them better than most. But he had finished his judgment of Delta right when he realized he liked her. That was the only judgment that had been needed.

Even if she was better trained in patience than he was, as was demonstrated now.

Such was the curse of family though, one proud member talking about you with everyone else. Chernabog seemed to be that one, letting his son be privy to his devotion to Delta. Frank understood. Though he didn’t have much of a family outside of his mother at one time, she spoke about him to the ladies in her tailor shop. It was no mere annoyance. It was a large one.

But a thought from Delta took him away from that and he smirked over at her. Oh, those blessed memories. Delta helping him in securing the hooks, proving that he was the authority in taking pain, and she was in giving it. She was the only person to which he would ever belong, he knew that in his heart, whether it was beating or not.

He’d bring Silas to the construct that Chip had made for them, their torture tower, which also doubled as his pleasure rooms. Pulleys and ropes still hung from on high, and a few books scattered around showed his literary pursuits, even going as far as to reading while he was suspended sometimes. He found it helped him concentrate better.

“And what kind of art do you usually make?” Frank said, seeing Silas as a blank canvas. “Something modern like splatterpunk?” He chuckled as it it was cheap. He was hard-frozen into his own aesthetics. Blood and gore was fun, but that was more … Oogie’s direction. Violence for violence sake. Can’t see the forest for the trees, but deforestation is her passion. Frank - he had his own style, closer to Silas’s fathers, though he wouldn’t really know it. “I prefer surrealism. Exquisite corpses. You see, my girl and I - we work best as a team."

He would just suspend Silas for now, wrap him up in a body bag and let it hang from the ceiling, giving Silas time to think, to whine, to hope, to simper, whatever he wanted to do, but it was secure for now. Then he’d go back to Delta because being by her side was where he belonged the most.

--

There were many departed who were not in attendance. Iain - sure, he had friends up top but he was united with his daughter, he wasn’t going anywhere. Esmeralda wasn’t showing face - thank fuck for that, she was probably one of the most unwanted. She’d been trying to keep Frollo away from the living, keeping him down there rather than up there. Sally - she was always watching but she wasn’t approaching. Her son was all grown up. Delta too. As much as her heart ached for them, she knew - she didn’t have much choice but to let them go. They didn’t need her. They didn’t even want her. This next life - she was happier in it. She’d hopefully see them along in their own journey through life and death.

Figaro had been making rounds before seeing Lance. Willem might have been their person but he had brought a date and she wasn’t going to get in the way of their flirting and longing looks and tender touches, yeck. So bounce, bounce bounce until their eyes settled upon Lance and now they were in the big group that was the growing band.

They turned their head and saw Willem and grinned even more. “You sure you don’t wanna join the …” then their eyes went wide, looking behind him. Another ghost, perhaps? Another someone that they knew? Better.

“Not leaving without saying hello, are you, my boy?”

Somehow, he had wandered here. He’d always wanted to see the inside of this castle, and the tug from his loved ones being here had somehow got him to trundle up and inside. Figaro took a minute to try to grasp this, eyes actually filling up with tears and emotion, and then combined the three of them in a hug.

[mythgrippa-blog]

Day ??? - unresponsive

Well today... more like yesterday was the actual demo for the app... it took a while but finally deployed the backend on google cloud run. This video was very helpful

The initial plan I had for deployment was to just host an ec2 instance however the url link was over http instead of https, since we were using firebase hosting which has a policy against http content. It didn't work, so I had to re improvise and tried a lot of different ways which include:

Getting HTTPS manually using openssl, this didn't work as most browsers don't allow self signed certificates and firebase was no different

Using Netlify to host our NodeJS however their libraries were and documentation were either outdated or no longer working, and they updated their website so I wasn't sure on how exactly to deploy

Using firebase functions, this didn't work because of the way firebase preprocesses requests, it does some stuff to it like turning the request body into like a buffer so I would have to decrypt it on my end by adding like a middleware or switching from using multer to busboy, because my services need to handle image uploads so I gave up on that idea

Cloud Run, this actually worked well! Thanks to the tutorial I sent before, I wouldn't have understood the video if I didn't know much about docker. You can still follow along however it gets tedious, takes about 5-10 minutes to deploy and its effective and you have full control which is amazing! Running a docker container in the cloud is awesome. I did run into an issue during the video, and it was because my docker client wasn't authorized to push to gcr.io, a simple command to fix it was all I Needed thankfully it was fixed with one command

The rest of the day was spent with my team preparing for the presentation, our 3rd one. We were working and I was happy the backend was deployed, I feel like I'm getting more familiar with GCP. We were implementing features left and right, polishing whatever needed to. And when the demo came... well...

Just before the demo, we met up our client who was happy to see us and we were happy to see her, we wanted to show off all the features which took a while to make but yeah. There was a whoopsie, thanks to my miscommunication, I forgot to tell my stallion that we're using a shared variable that stores the apiUrl link and so he hard coded the localhost:8000, so some of his api wasn't getting used because it was trying to access localhost:8000 instead of the deployed links. We couldn't redeploy in time of the demo so we went in nervous.

The demo starts and everyone looks so scary, however my lecturer who I think may not like our team just left. The demo goes on and on, and one of the guys leaves. They ask me questions, I try my best like one was why do RabbitMQ's AMQP for communication between services instead of Restful HTTPS, the question was around security and I panicked and out right said something kinda not true but also true.

It ends, and they say our app was just too simple and needed more AI (not more features but more AI). The faces they gave, it was almost as if they were looking at poor helpless dumb little pups or people who worked last minute to finished. Our client, for the second time said that she was worried about us on whether we can finish the AI.

I'm a bit sad honestly... yeah the app was simple by my design... I'm just so sad... it doesn't help that I'm also going through a repetitive phase in my life where I start liking someone because we're so close and comfortable with each other only to find out that we were just very close friends and nothing romantic was built up.

I'm like really depressed because I can't really seem to catch a break. I want to improve the website but I'm just really sad now. Well... I honestly am trying to lose faith or what not,,,

[xoxiu]

twinkle - ot7 x reader

chapter 11 table of contents masterlist

summary: she had just wanted attention, that’s why she kept texting the strange number, updating him on everything in her life. little did she know how dangerous this relationship actually was. it had been jimin’s idea to kidnap the girl, but the ability to travel across the world to actually do it had been all hoseok’s doing. convenient how some things work, right? they knew that they were destined to have their baby with them, whether she wanted it or not.

tags/warnings: kidnapping, forced age regression, spanking, noncon, mafia au, drug use, stockholm syndrome, caregiver!bts, little!reader, nonsexual, diapers, panic attacks, fluff and angst, sickfic, referenced child abuse, unrequited love

Namjoon came home to a dark, silent house- an experience he hadn't felt in what seemed like decades. Ophelia had yet to fully settle in, so coming home to one of his housemates fruitlessly attempting to put her to bed was a common occurrence. He tip-toed up the steps (if he was the one who woke Lia up, his friends would not let him see the light of day. Lia tended to be a heavy sleeper, however, so there wasn't much need to be overly quiet) and to the nursery. Peering in, Namjoon blinked once, twice in confusion when he noticed the empty crib. His mind blanked, and he rushed to his bedroom to get Jin.

The bedside lamp's gentle light illuminated the room just enough for Namjoon to see his boyfriend reading on their bed with Lia resting on his chest. Namjoon's heart rate quickly evened out, and a smile crept onto his face at the loving sight. He softly closed the door behind him, causing Jin to focus his attention from his novel to the new presence in the room. Namjoon saw the stress and worry on the elder's face, his smile faltering in response. "What's wrong?" He asked, perching himself on the edge of the bed.

"Lia's sick," Jin whispered, stroking the girl in question's pink hair. Namjoon frowned and laid on the bed next to Jin- he moved Lia's hair slightly to see her pale, sleeping face. She felt hot to the touch; Namjoon could tell she had a high fever before Jin could even mention it.

"She must have injured her anal cavity from refusing to use her diapers. Almost immediately after that, she started spiking a fever and puking." Jin chuckled out of exhaustion, "Long and rough day; Hobi looked ready to faint until I made him leave."

Namjoon's heart hurt at the thought of his baby suffering. Even in her sleep, she looked distressed. While he was slightly offended Jin didn't bother to call or even text him about Lia, it didn't feel right to bring that up when there were bigger issues to deal with. Maybe in the morning, everything will have magically fixed themselves, and Namjoon would finally have his happy little baby. 

Nothing felt right to Henry. Nothing felt real. His sister disappeared without a trace and it felt like nobody was trying to find her. He stared up at his blue ceiling- he took down all the glow-in-the-dark stars a week after Ophelia left. It was her idea to put them up there, and it felt wrong for them to be there when she wasn't.

"I used to have a bunch of these things in my bedroom when I was little," she said with that signature Ophelia smile- wide and genuine, a smile that gave Henry a sense of home.

"They're gay," Henry quickly dismissed such a baby-ish decoration, but his big sister didn't take any offense. Every time Henry invaded her room he was infatuated with those small stars. It was obviously just an act- his way of saying 'I'm 12 now and I can't admit I like things.'

It's been a month. Ophelia left- no, she was kidnapped. Ophelia was kidnapped March 14. She turned 18 on April 7. Her senior prom was next week- April 19. 

Henry somehow got more depressed at that thought- Opehlia was so excited about prom. After school one day- two weeks before she was kidnapped- Ophelia took Henry dress shopping. He begged and pleaded to be dropped off at home before she went to the dress shop, to which Ophelia whined that all the good dresses would be taken in that short time frame. And so, Henry sat in the boutique for what felt like hours watching his sister try on dress after dress. "You don't even have a date," Henry complained.

Ophelia, the ever kind and caring Ophelia, simply turned around and smiled at her younger brother. "That doesn't matter. Do you want to go with me? They have a chocolate fountain that I know you'll love!"

"Ew!" Henry was disgusted at the thought of being his sister's date. Looking back now, he realized she only did it out of love. She could have gotten mad at Henry for pointing out her single status, but instead invited him to join her. From the movies he watched, most older sisters would be disgusted to have their little brother tag along to any event, better yet prom. Yet here Ophelia was, thinking of Henry's own interests above her own.

God, he did not deserve her. 

The front door opened, quickly followed by hushed voices and a baby's squeal. Henry's heart stopped for a moment until he remembered that it couldn't be his parents (it couldn't be Ophelia, either). Quickly after Ophelia disappeared, their parents ran off. Ophelia's older friends volunteered to watch over both him and Rose so they wouldn't get thrown into foster care. To Henry, it seemed like everything tied to Ophelia was full of goodness. 

The squeaking of his door made Henry flip over to face whoever was entering. The sudden light from the hall made him squint- had he really hidden away for that long? Grace stood in the doorframe, Rose on her hip and her own daughter, Ashley, holding onto her hand. Or, well, finger.

Henry knew little Ashley well; before Rose was born, he would tag along with Ophelia every time she went to visit Grace and Ashley. It shocked him how big she has gotten, being nearly two years old now. The thought of baby Rose ever becoming sentient kind of scared him.

Henry remembered how much joy Ashley brought both Grace and Ophelia, with Grace dubbing Ophelia "Auntie Lia." The two had been friends since they were little, and Henry knew Grace basically all his life. A little over a year ago, Grace brought the two siblings on a vacation over spring break.

"I got a sugar daddy, so don't worry about money or anything."

"Tell him to hit me up sometime," Ophelia gave Grace a playful wink. Grace gasped and softly hit her younger friend in the arm.

Their dynamic was sisterly and close, and Henry almost felt like an intruder when around them. The hotel room they stayed in that week was almost like a mini apartment, with a living room and a separate room for the beds. After exploring the rest of the hotel by himself, Henry returned back only to find the living space empty and soft voices coming from the 'bedroom.' He sat in front of the door, doing what most little brothers did and eavesdropped. 

"It's weird to think of how much you and Henry have grown up," Grace's voice hit Henry's ear first.

"Stop acting like you're ancient- you're only three years older than me," The familiar playfulness in Ophelia's voice made Henry feel at ease.

"I know, but I still you the two of you as the little kids from across the street." There was a pause until Grace continued speaking, "Am I doing this right?"

"What right?" Ophelia asked.

"This," Grace replied, referring to the sleeping baby lying between the two of them, "I have no idea what is right when it comes to parenting. Do I breastfeed? Do I use cloth diapers? When do I introduce solid foods? Do I co-sleep?"

"Shut up, you're doing fine," Ophelia gave her reassurance through the teasing way only best friends can do. "And for the record, aren't we kind of co-sleeping with Ash right now?"

Grace snorted, "Only because we couldn't get her to nap in her pack and whatever it's called. I'm just terrified I'm going to kill her or something."

"Don't say that! Both of you survived for six months so far, just keep it up for another six months, and then maybe a few more after that."

Both the girls laughed but kept it quiet as to not wake the sleeping child. A peaceful quiet filled the hotel room after that, and Henry nearly rose from the floor until Grace spoke up.

"I really do love you, Lia."

The now two-year-old Ashley climbing on his bed snapped Henry back to reality. Through his teary eyes (although he'd never admit he cried), he saw the hopeful expression on Grace's face. Once their eyes met, her smile only grew larger.

"We got a lead."

[albertasunrise]

The Unexpected Gift - Part 9

Masterlist

Summary: When a baby girl is dropped on Javier Peña's doorstep with a note claiming she's his, he's suddenly thrust into fatherhood. With no clue what to do, he will need all the help he can get if he's not to stumble at the first hurdle.

Relationships: Javier Peña x Reader, Steve Murphy x Connie Murphy

Warnings: Like AO3, I choose not to list any warnings. This will be 18+ If you are triggered by anything to do with babies then read at your own risk... timeline has been tweaked slightly to suit the story (Yup... life is still mad rn... My little business has also taken off a bit so I'm even more busy that before. Working on updates as and when I can but I hope this was worth the wait.)

Series Masterlist- Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8

You stood staring at Javier's door for some time, willing yourself to knock on its smooth surface. You'd been trying to knock on it for days. Weeks if you were being truly honest with yourself.

When Javier had told you that you needed to decide whether you wanted to be with him or not, you'd been left at a loss for what to do. You did want to be with him. With every fibre of your being, but you also didn't trust him and you hated that you couldn't.

He had done nothing but prove how changed he was since becoming a father and yet your insecurities still screamed at you to hide, to protect yourself from the 'inevitable' hurt that he would supposedly inflict on you. Yet in the time the two of you had been together…

He'd been perfect.

When you did finally knock, you were met with silence.

"Not home I guess." You sigh to yourself but when you turned to walk to your door you heard frantic footsteps and saw Javier sprint into view.

"Javi?" You called out, expression growing concerned as he sprinted past you but he didn't answer.

He was clearly in a hurry and that made your stomach twist.

He had obviously come from the Murphy's so you decided to make your way there, knocking on the door three times before you were met with a frantic Connie.

"Con, what's wrong?" You asked as you pulled her into a hug, holding her close as she sobbed on your shoulder.

"Steve's been kidnapped." She said finally as she pulled herself away to look at you.

"When?"

"Today." She started, eyes darting to the nursery before looking back at you again "His car was just left idling in front of the parking lot. Javi's doing all he can to find him but I'm losing my mind here… We have a kid now. I can't raise Olivia without him-"

"And you won't." You interjected, placing a comforting hand on her arm "Javi will find him and everything will be fine… They've probably done this to scare the DEA. They're not stupid enough to do anything more than knock hin about a little,"

Connie nodded, trying her best to keep herself calm and so she decided the best way to do that was to distract herself from the problem at hand.

"Why haven't you seen Javi in two weeks?" She asked, taking you by surprise.

"Let's not talk about that now."

"He told me that you two had a bit of a bust-up." She continued, ignoring your reply "Said that you clearly don't trust him because you keep avoiding any intimacy with him."

"Con-"

"He's crazy about you you know." She stated, her expression changing "And he's really cut up that you didn't choose to try and talk about things with him."

"I wanted to." You started to argue but you knew your retort held no weight.

"Why didn't you?"

"Because he's right." You replied simply "No matter how much he proves himself, my brain still tells me that one day he will find someone better. Someone prettier and I'll be all alone."

"He told me that he wants all to be a family." She stated and your breath caught in your throat "He said he'd asked if you wanted more kids because he does… He wants to have a family with you and you still don't trust him enough to believe he's sincere?"

Your guilt swallowed you whole.

You sat there in silence for a while as your eyes drifted over to the small penguin toy you'd gifted María a few weeks ago. She had instantly taken to it. Wanted it to go everywhere with her and Javier had joked that it was because she loved her mommy best.

Was that how he viewed you now? As her mother…

"You need to talk to him." She continued, grabbing your attention "If you want this to work then it's going to take work. You have insecurities, we all do, but you can't let them run your life."

"I know." You replied, your voice small as your gaze settled on the toy again.

"But you can't keep stringing him along hun." She warned "He's in love with you. You need to either make up or break up." She paused, locking eyes with you as your head snapped up "It's as simple as that."

"We should be focusing on your right now." You said, desperate to change the subject.

"Don't deflect." She scorned "There's nothing to be said about my situation other than when Steve returns, I will ask him if we can go home."

"What?" You shrieked, eyes wide.

"I am a mother now." She stated simply "If my husband is so vulnerable that he gets snatched from outside our home then I don't think I can stay here."

"You know he won't leave." You argued "He can't! He and Javi still have work to do."

"Family is more important than work."

"Yes but-"

"No buts!" She snapped "He will either leave with me or I'll leave without him… But I won't risk Olivia so that he can chase down that mad man."

“Connie you can’t be serious.” You argued “He’s devoted to you but he’s also given years of his life to this fight. You can’t expect him to choose to give up all that hard work. That’s just not fair.”

“I’m a mother now.” She stated plainly “I have to do what’s best for my child and that’s leaving Colombia”

There was a long pause as the two of you stares at each other, the weight of her statement weighing heavily on you both.

“With or without Steve.”

The conversation ended there. You stayed with her out of moral support but you daren’t try and convince her to stay. You knew she was right to a degree. You were living proof that no one was safe from the horrors of Colombia but you also didn’t want to lose her.

Hours passed before Steve came stumbling through the door, pulling his wife into a firm hug. You then knew it was time to take your leave so you hugged them both before sprinting down the stairs, colliding with Javi at their base.

“Shit… Sorry I-“

“It’s fine.” Peña grumbled and you winced at his tone.

It was now or never.

“Could we talk?” You called after him and he stopped in his tracks, pinching the bridge of his nose as he let out a long sigh.

“Is it urgent?” He queried “Only I have to relieve the Murphy’s of my daughter.”

“I’m sorry.” You rushed out, trying desperately not to cry “I’m sorry I let my insecurities get the better of Me.” You choked “I had something amazing with you and I let it slip through my fingers.”

“Cariño-“

“Let me finish.” You pleaded and he nodded, taking a step down so he was eye level with you “I love you, Javier.” You said plainly “I love you and I want to spend the rest of my days with you if you’ll have me… I don’t want to waste any more time.”

“Wait for me in the apartment.” Javier ordered, “I’m going to go grab María, and then we’ll talk properly.”

You nodded at him before watching him sprint up the stairs, smiling to yourself at the thought that tonight, you may finally let yourself be happy with the man you love. You turn and walk to his door, unlocking it with your spare key before treading inside and taking a seat at his table.

Your nerves were almost at boiling point when he walked through the door with a sleepy María in his arms.

“Let me just put her down.” He said before rushing off to her room, returning a few moments later with a monitor in hand.

“She down for the night?” You asked and he nodded, grabbing a beer from the fridge before sitting across from you.

“I love you.” He said after a short period of silence, the words like music to your ears “Don’t think I even knew what love was until I met you.” He confessed, taking a sip of his beer before continuing “But I can’t be with you if you don’t trust me… I have a daughter now and I need to offer her stability. I can’t have her growing attached to you, only for you to leave us.”

“I won’t.” You assured him but he shook his head.

“How can you know that for sure?” He asked, his voice so small and vulnerable that it broke your heart to hear it.

“Because I can’t bear the idea of not being with you.” You choked, unable to stop the tears now “These past two weeks have been torture. I kept coming to your door then running because I was scared that you turn me away.”

“There it is again.” He exclaimed, making you jump “You not trusting in my love for you!”

“Javi, it wasn’t that at all.” You sobbed “I was just sp scared I’d hurt you beyond repair.”

“You did hurt me.” He confessed and your stomach sank, eyes watching him carefully as he continued “But I don’t want to lose you either.”

You let out the breath you’d been holding as your whole body relaxed and your smile returned.

“I don’t want to waste any more time either.”

The next few moments were a blur. Lips collided and moans were swallowed as you both stumbled to your feet and trekked blindly to the couch.

Clothes disappeared and kisses painted naked flesh. The next thing you knew he was sheathing himself inside of you and pulling sounds from your lips you didn’t know you were capable of. He was slow at first, his forehead resting on yours as he thrust languidly onto your heat. The way he looked at you made you shiver. All you could see in the dark depths of his eyes was his love and desire for you and you thought you could cum just from that.

“I love you.” You whispered, whimpering when he found your sweet spot, and then you threw your head back as he focused on it.

He has you cumming in no time at all, spurred on by the filthy sounds you made as he dragged every last drop of pleasure from you.

“Shit.” You breathed as you came down from your high, clutching to his shoulders as his thrusts grew harder.

The sounds emitted from the act were lewd but you found it only turned you on more. He was clearly chasing his high now but also focusing on that spot in the hopes he could tear one more from you… and he did.

You came in unison. Swallowing each other’s moans as he collapsed on top of you, desperate to catch his breath.

“That was…” you trailed off, unable to find a strong enough word to describe it.

“Phenomenal?” He questioned before kissing you slowly, tongues tangling in a lazy dance of passion and love.

“Yes.” You uttered against his lips as he pulled back, resting his brown against yours again “Wish we’d done that sooner!’ You paused, whimpering when he shifted inside of you a little “How silly I’ve been.”

“No arguments from me.” He said with a wink, eliciting a playful swat and a chuckle from you “Let's got to bed, Mi Amor.” He suggested and you nodded, following him as he stood and led you away.

~

Connie hadn't brought up the subject of leaving since the day Steve had disappeared but you knew it was weighing heavily on her mind. In fact, several months had passed since then.

Javier and Steve were sent to work out of Medellín several few times in the weeks that followed which had meant that you had been spending more and more one on one time with María. You'd started to feel that pull more and more as the days went by. That whole that your little Masie had left behind didn't feel like it gaped so much. It would never fully heal but to have the chance to be a mother again gave you a sense of purpose.

It was helping you heal.

Together you and Javier had managed to find a new sitter for when you were at work. She was young, something that had initially made you a little nervous after what had happened to Claire but it had soon become clear she didn't bad for Javi's team.

It was the subtle touches here and there that had been the clear indicator she was more interested in you than your lover and that had soon made you relax around her. She never made a move on you and you found a friendship with her started to blossom and you were glad of it. Even more so in the weeks that were to follow.

You were in the office when you received the call from Steve that Connie was leaving. It had been a shock to all but one who had put their own plans in place. Plans that had not been discussed with you so when you arrived at the Murphys' apartment, you'd been shocked to find Javier there, helping Connie pack not just her things into a large bag.

"What the hell?" You questioned as you stepped into the kitchen, eyes falling on María in her pram "What's going on here?"

"I'm going back to Maimi," Connie answered simply, shrugging as she packed the last of Olivia's things into her suitcase.

"Okay, but what are you doing here Javi? I thought you were in Medellín for another week!" You snapped.

"My Pop's is going to meet Con at the airport." He started, stopping what he was doing to look at you "María's going to stay with him till I finish here then we'll go back to Texas and get her."

"We?" You exclaimed, "There is a, we, in this scenario is there?"

"Of course there is." He groaned, scraping a hand over his face.

"Only I don't recall you discussing this with me before getting the arrangements in place."

"It was a pretty sudden decision." He replied and you scoffed at him before your eyes settled on María's sleeping form.

"So what… Connie told you she was leaving and you just decided to send María with her?"

"Yes." He answered simply and you felt yourself growing angry at him.

"Why?"

"Because it's dangerous here." He stated, "You more than anyone know that anyone can get caught in the crossfire and I don't want to keep my daughter here and put her at unnecessary risk."

You flinched at his statement, your hand unconsciously resting on your stomach as your eyes filled with fresh tears.

"Don't I get a say in whether she stays or goes?" You questioned, "I thought we were a family Javi."

"We are a family."

"Well, families make decisions like this together." You snapped, your anger getting the best of you "I should get a say in whether María stays or goes."

"This is the right thing to do." He growled, eyes darkening as his own temper started to flare.

"I don't want her to go."

"She's my daughter, not yours." He yelled and you shrunk immediately, a flash of hurt crossing your face before it replaced with something else entirely.

"You're right." You said sharply, shrugging your shoulders.

"Hermosa I-"

"Don't tell me you didn't mean in that way because you did." You warned, tone firm before you squared your shoulders "And I suppose if you want to send your child away you'll want to send ours away as well."

"I already am." He grumbled, tired of this conversation "María will be safer with Pops."

"I don't mean María." You replied and his brows pulled together in confusion as he waited for you to elaborate.

"What are you talking about?" He pushed when you remained silent, watching your shoulders rise and fall as you planned what you were going to say carefully.

"This isn't exactly how I wanted to tell you but I suppose now's as good a time as any." You growled, "I'm pregnant Javi." You replied simply "Was going to wait till you got back to tell you."

"You are?" He asked, his voice small as his eyes widened.

You nodded, pulling out the images you had from your purse and throwing them down on the table in front of him.

"Wanted to surprise you." You said, watching as his shaky hands grabbed the images "I'm about 8 weeks along." You stated plainly as you straightened your back "I want to keep it."

"Of course." The agent said, his head turning to you as a smile crossed his face but it soon disappeared when he saw the expression you wore.

"You want to send María away then fine… Send her away, I have no say in that but I have a say in what happens to this baby and they are going to stay with me."

"Hermosa please-"

"But know this Javi." You interrupted, ignoring his plea "You send her away and I will never forgive you." You stated plainly as you pointed at María, your countenance impossible to read "You send her away and I will never forgive you."

"Baby please." He pleaded "Be reasonable."

"Think about it." You replied simply before leaving the kitchen, leaving a shocked Connie and Peńa in your wake.

Now… Javier had a decision to make.

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[joyful-soul-collector]

Update? Sort of?

So she's. Different, now. Better, I think? Better than she was when I made the original post. We had a big family discussion a long time ago, sometime last year, and brought things to her attention. I didn't say that she was being abusive, because I was worried it would shut her down and she wouldn't listen to me if I used that word, but we still talked about things she did to me and how they were bad. It boiled down to basically she thought I didn't do enough in the family? She said she does more than I do, and my parents semi-agreed with her I guess? But we explained that I have autism and adhd and just generally a bunch of problems that make it extremely difficult to Life. I think she sort of got it, but she also kinda views those things as excuses, and I don't know that she really believes or understands how they work and affect me. She seems to get that she shouldn't treat me the way she did though.

So, I think she really is trying? It's hard to tell sometimes. I can see it now when she's annoyed but holding back, not saying something awful like she normally would, or maybe just saying something less awful. It's not an every day thing anymore, treating me badly. But honestly it's hard to tell whether that's due to her actually treating me better, or because she has a job and a boyfriend and isn't around as much.

But... it's still not great honestly. She still rolls her eyes at me constantly, and scoffs when I say things. She gets angry when I do things that inconvenience her a little bit, like being in the same room as her, or say something she disagrees with, or honestly just do anything she doesn't like, but what she doesn't like varies so much from moment to moment that it's really hard to gauge whether something I'm going to do is going to make her mad or not. But she doesn't yell at me as much anymore which is good.

It's a weird feeling to be the older brother with an abusive younger sister. I love her a lot, I want to protect her and take care of her, cuz I'm her older brother, that's what I'm supposed to do. She doesn't need me to, I'm only two years older, but I still feel that urge to help her and guide her in some way. I don't know that I'm very good at it, she scoffs at me whenever I say anything about wanting to look out for her and my youngest sister, but I can't tell if that's her being mean or right.

But at the same time she just. She treats me like shit right? I get so anxious when she's in a bad mood, I just try to avoid her, but I can't always do that because we live together. I want to take care of her, I want to help her, but I'm often scared of her at the same time.

And I want to tell people in my life about her, tell my friends about my problems with my sister so they understand me better, so they can help me in the times when I start to believe I'm as awful as she treats me like I am, but at the same time like. That's my baby sister. I can't talk bad about my baby sister like that. I can't go telling everyone she's awful and make myself out to be some victim in their eyes. She's not all bad, she can be really cool too, and I want them to know that side of her.

But I don't want to lie either. I want to be able to tell people what I've gone through, what I'm going through, how she's brought down my self esteem, how I have this weird feeling of both completely trusting her to be loyal to me and stand up for me, but not trusting her at all to treat me well or make me feel good most of the time.

But I don't want to fuck up my family. If they find out I told ANYONE that she was abusive to me (and still is sometimes), then they would get so angry and it would cause such a big thing. They know I talked to my old therapist about it, and I think they know somewhat that she was/is abusive, but I highly doubt they would be okay with me telling anyone outside the family that. It'd look like I was badmouthing her to other people.

It's even worse when I think about if/when I have some sort of life partner someday. Inevitably I'll end up telling them about her, and telling them she was shitty to me at one point in my life, even if somehow by them she's perfectly chill. But that person will meet her, and if we get married or something then she'll be part of their family too.

Idk, it's just so frustrating because I can tell she is better than before, like genuinely better. But because of everything that's happened, I still have similar reactions to everything. I still tense up and get scared she's going to yell at me, even if I can't remember the last time she yelled at me. I still hide up in my room when she's slamming things or cussing at her computer because I'm scared her anger will get redirected at me somehow. I still feel like a horrible person every time she does anything for me, because I know all she's thinking is that she shouldn't have to be doing this and that I'm so stupid for one reason or another.

Anyway, I'm just gonna end this rant here now. If anyone is worried reading this, genuinely appreciate your concern but I'll be okay!! I have friends irl who I think I'll open up to eventually, and my parents are good and help me with this stuff too. I just wanted to vent about it. If anyone has advice or general comfort or anything like that, feel free to do that, I'm all ears.

Love you all, laters gators

Has anyone dealt with having abusive siblings? 

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